Friday, August 31, 2012

August 31: Remove Me, Haunt Me No Longer, Anger

"Remove me!" Scrooge exclaimed.  "I cannot bear it!"

He turned upon the Ghost, and seeing that it looked upon him with a face, in which in some strange way there were the fragments of all the faces it had shown him, wrestled with it.

"Leave me!  Take me back.  Haunt me no longer!"

Scrooge is quite upset with the Ghost of Christmas Past by this point in the novel.  The Ghost ends his time with Scrooge by showing him some very painful scenes from his past.  Scrooge reacts with violence toward the Ghost, having experienced enough guilt and remorse for the time being.  He wants the Spirit to simply go away.  Scrooge is pissed.

I am quite angry today.  It's not really a focused anger.  I look at or think about something/somebody, and I get really mad.  I'm also pretty tired, so that doesn't improve my humor.  Thank goodness I don't have to work with a lot of people this morning.  Human interaction is not going to be one of my strong suits.  I might as well embrace the fact that, like Scrooge, I want people to go away.  Period.  Leave me alone,  Haunt me another time.

Working in a business office isn't really conducive to isolation.  The other person I'm working with this morning gets under my skin a lot.  The way she talks.  The way she interacts with patients.  The way she makes makes noises with her fork when she eats breakfast.  I just want to dig her heart out with a dull spoon.  Metaphorically, of course.  But, I just grit my teeth and bear it.

If my state of mind this morning is any indication of the way the rest of my day is going to proceed, perhaps I should find an empty room and practice some primal scream therapy.  Or take a nap.

Saint Marty is hanging on, but not by much.

Don't touch my desserts!

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