November 10: A Confession

I have a confession this afternoon.  I've been having really negative thoughts all day, wishing bad things for a person who really doesn't deserve bad things.

I really cherish the friendship of my coworker, you know, the one who just got a new job.  However, I've been hoping that she's absolutely miserable in this new position she's taken.  I know that casts me in a pretty nasty light, and I'm prepared to accept that.  I've always been pretty honest about all of my shortcomings since I started Saint Marty.  This admission is really difficult for me.

I've even been imagining scenarios where my coworker loses her new job through downsizing or outright closure of her new department.  At the very least, in my mind, I want her to miss important things in her children's lives:  first day of school, costume parades at Halloween.  The kinds of things you just can't get back once they're over.  I feel like a really terrible person right now.

I'm hoping to shake off these thoughts, but they keep cropping up in my head as I'm going about my business.  Don't send me angry comments on this post.  I'm punishing myself, believe me.

Saint Marty ain't feeling very saint-like today.

Father, forgive me...