November 10: Ice, Charlie Chaplin, Change

Well, the snow came down but good last night.  I left work a little early, and the drive that usually takes me about twenty minutes lasted over an hour.  At one point, I thought I was going to be stuck in an unending traffic jam.  My gas gauge was at less than a quarter tank, so I was looking at running out of fuel on an icy hill with five thousand angry drivers behind me.  However, I made it home safely.  My wife and children made it home safely,  as well.  I was truly thankful to God for my life and my family's lives.  For the rest of the evening, we just holed up, had dinner, and got on each other's nerves.  It was great.

Having said that, I'm still in a pretty crappy mood this morning.  I was speaking with a coworker recently (a person who has many more reasons than I to be in a crappy mood), and she told me that if she gave in to negativity, she wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning.  I'm trying to keep that piece of wisdom in mind.

Just call me Charlie

I went for a walk this morning before work.  The storm has blown away, and now the world is covered in snow and ice.  There's a lot of beauty in the early morning after a big snow.  The quiet is physical, like gauze in your ears.  When I drive to work on mornings like this, it feels like I'm Charlie Chaplin in a silent movie.  The trees move.  Cars glide by.  But it's all in silence.  In my mind, I actually imagine somebody sitting at a pipe organ, accompanying the scene.  It's really peaceful.  The walk helped to calm the barking wolves in my mind.

I'm still anxious/pissed about the departure of my coworker in December.  However, it's something I can't change.  (There's that stupid word again.  C-H-A-N-G-E.  It should be banished from the world.  Some changes are good--a baby, a marriage, a book deal, a Pulitzer Prize, a Nobel Prize in Literature.  For the most part, change sucks.  Let me put it in mathematical terms for you:  CHANGE = SUCK.)  Therefore, getting back to my original statement, I know I can't do anything about the change about to take place in my work situation.  I'm going to be losing a good friend in the office.  I'm going to be losing a great work partner.  I'm going to be losing a lot a freedom in my hectic life.  It's going to happen.  I can either accept it and move on, or I can wallow in self pity.

Saint Marty's choosing self pity at the moment.