Yesterday, my wife and I attended our local Pride Fest, manning a table for the library where I work. It was a sunny, warm day with strong winds that upheaved tents and sent pamphlets and brochures flying. But none of that mattered. It was all about welcome and acceptance, seeing people for who they are and greeting them with a holy Hell yes!
The United States is so divided and angry right now, marching quickly toward totalitarianism; kindness and empathy and joy are endangered species. I sometimes don’t even recognize the country in which I grew up, and that makes me feel like a kid who wants to run away from home.
Marie Howe writes about a runaway . . .
The Boy
by: Marie Howe
My brother is walking down the sidewalk into the suburban summer night:
white T-shirt, blue jeans—to the field at the end of the street.
Hangers Hideout the boys called it, an undeveloped plot, a pit overgrown
with weeds, some old furniture thrown down there,
and some metal hangers clinking in the trees like wind chimes.
He’s running away from home because our father wants to cut his hair.
And in two more days our father will convince me to go to him—you know
where he is—and talk to him: No reprisals. He promised.
A small parade of kids in feet pajamas will accompany me, their voices
like the first peepers in spring. And my brother will walk ahead of us home,
and our father will shave his head bald, and my brother will not speak
to anyone the next month, not a word, not pass the milk, nothing.
What happened in our house taught my brothers how to leave, how to walk
down a sidewalk without looking back.
I was the girl. What happened taught me to follow him, whoever he was,
calling and calling his name.
Howe’s narrative is pretty familiar to me. I loved my father, but he could be a pretty hard guy. He had pretty clear ideas of the roles of men and women. From a very young age, I was expected to learn my father’s trade (plumbing) like each of my three brothers did. My father’s expectations for my sisters were a little more open and accepting. One of my sisters became a registered nurse. Another became a medical transcriptionist and coder, running a local hospital’s entire medical record department. My oldest sister drove trucks for the mines in the area and also became a licensed Master Plumber, like my brothers.
Me? Well, you know how things turned out for me. English professor. Writer. Blogger. Musician. Actor. Director. Poet. My life choices seemed to come right out of the book Being the Black Sheep of the Family for Dummies. Until I started dating the woman who would eventually become my wife, I’m pretty sure my father was convinced I was gay, which was the only thing worse than being a poet in my father’s estimation.
I know my father was proud of my achievements. He attended almost all of my poetry readings, even though I’m pretty sure he didn’t quite get my work. At the very least, he respected my accomplishments. He learned to accept me for who I was. And that’s pretty much the best gift a father can give his children.
I never put any expectations on my kids. I don’t care whether they’re gay, straight, bi, or trans. My only hope for them is happiness. Even if (God forbid!), they became Republicans, I’d still love them, although that would really test my threshold of acceptance.
At the moment, there’s a UFC fight going on in front of the White House to celebrate you-know-who’s 80th birthday. I’ve been avoiding news reports all day because I know the kind of crowd that event is going to draw, and, after this weekend of love and acceptance, I don’t want to end it with beer-drinking, red-hat-wearing white supremacists spouting hate speech in the same place where Martin Luther King spoke about his dreams for America and Americans. Not gonna do it. Wouldn’t be prudent.
I’m not a person who hates. (This has been put to the test over and over in the last ten years.) I didn’t raise my children to hate. Life is way too short to hand over that kind of power to some individual or group. If my one contribution to the universe is raising my daughter and son to love unconditionally, I can march up to the Pearly Gates with my head held high.
Saint Marty wrote a poem for tonight about the shared joy of the human experience . . .
Waiting for the Bus
by: Martin Achatz
Some know each other, greet on approach
the way mothers greet children coming
home from war. Patient as sheets
on a clothesline, they wait for
the blue-and-white bus to appear, know
this hurried world will soon swallow
them into grocery stores, medical appointments,
soul-killing jobs cleaning hotel rooms
or dropping baskets of fries into boiling oil.
But right now, in this moment, they share
stories about hernias and old dogs
with cataracts and grandkids who’ve just
graduated from high school. They’re in no
rush. None of them. They savor these simple
intimacies like blueberries sprinkled on
a bowl of soggy Cheerios, milk sweet with sugar,
just like they used to eat on Saturday mornings
watching Bugs Bunny when they were kids.



