February 21, 2026: “Persephone, in the Meadow,” Misery and Snow, “Hold”

So, it is Saturday.  Laundry day.  After a week of shoveling and pushing snow heavy as wet cement, I’m so excited to be sitting at a table in the laundromat, watching towels and underwear have an orgy in the washer.  (Read that with sarcasm, please.)

It’s been a really busy seven days.  I had a production of the play Misery at the library on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday (yes, THAT Misery by Stephen King).  That pretty much gobbled up most of my energy and time from last Friday to now.  On top of that, there’s been snow and snow.  So much snow that I don’t think I’m going to have a driveway if another blizzard hits my little portion of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.  I’m a Yooper (I’ve lived the majority of my life north of the Mackinac Bridge), but I’m getting a little tired of this shit.

I’ve also been struggling with a bout of sadness these last few days.  It’s partially weather-related; I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen blue sky and direct sunlight.  But there’s something else going on, too—a feeling of loneliness and loss that seems to be humming beneath the surface of my life like bees in a dormant hive.

Marie Howe writes about Persephone’s face , , , 

Persephone, in the Meadow

by: Marie Howe

When I looked at the meadow flowers,

many of them looked back

offering their faces:  sometimes crawling with ants or a bee.

And that was that.

But after I’d spent several hours with my mother

I often felt her face on my face—as if my face were her face.

After leaving my mother I’d go to the mirror and look and look.

And it was my face I saw.

But from the inside it felt like hers,

and it was hours before I felt her likeness fade.

I get what Howe is describing in this poem.  After I visit my daughter downstate (or she drives home to visit us), I’m haunted by her presence for a while afterward.  I look in the mirror, and I see her face reflected in mine.  She has my chin and smile and eyes.  It makes the separation more acute for three or four days.

I also see my mother’s face mirrored in my face.  My sister Sally’s face, as well.  We have Hainley features.  (“Hainley” was my mother’s maiden name.). Family has been central to my entire life.  Before Sally died of lymphoma of the brain, Sundays were reserved for big dinners at my parents’ house.  My sisters would cook.  I would bring dessert.  For a few hours, we ate and visited and laughed and loved.  It was a way to stay connected despite our busy schedules.

I’m glad my daughter is old enough to remember those good times.  My son was pretty young when Sally died, so his memories are fuzzier, although when he says her name or mentions her, it’s with the kind of reverence reserved for prayer.  And my kids still get big get-togethers with my wife’s side of the family—birthdays and holidays and homecomings.  It’s always joyful chaos, loud and laugh-filled.

It’s not uncommon for family members to live far and wide.  One of my brothers lives in Pennsylvania.  Before that, he lived in California.  I have a niece who’s a resident of Germany.  One of my sisters and her kids live in Washington state.  My closest blood relatives (two sisters and a brother) live a good hour’s drive away.  Like I said, far and wide.

My wife and I have been together for 35 years now.  Her family is my family just as much as my remaining siblings are.  At our Christmas gathering in December, I thanked my brother-in-law for always treating me like a real brother.  His reply:  “You’re family.  Always will be.”

I’ve been holding onto that moment.  It reminds me that I’m not Oliver Twist, if that makes sense.

Saint Marty has a new poem about holding onto love . . . 

Hold

by: Martin Achatz

I hold this pen in my hand, try

to conjure images of love to hold

this poem together, hold it like

a cupped palm holds water to thirsty

lips or the bowl of a spoon holds

sugar to sweeten coffee.  I hold

my mother and sister:  Mom holding

my sister’s hand, my sister’s breath held,

let go, held, let go, held, let go, held, 

Mom holding tighter and tighter 

because she knows to release her hold 

would be like releasing a balloon held 

in a child’s sticky fist, watching it float 

up, up into the gold and blue circus 

tent of heaven.

February 14, 2026: “Persephone,” Valentine’s Day, “Why?”

Yes, I find myself still struggling with my writing.  It’s not that I’m not doing it.  I’m doing it every day.  It’s just that everything I write is crap.  Or, at least, it’s crap to me.  I’ve lost my ability to judge whether what I compose is good or bad.  My inner editor is broken or on an extended vacation or in some ICE detention facility somewhere in Texas.  I’m not sure.

It is Valentine’s Day, and my wife and I did go out to lunch to celebrate this afternoon.  I had a French dip sandwich, and the love of my life had a messy plate of nachos that she loved.  We have been through quite a bit in the 35+ years we have been a couple.  Breakups.  A wedding.  Two kids.  Separation.  Marriage counseling.  And here we are—still in love with each other.  Still best friends.  

I often wonder, if Orpheus and Eurydice or Romeo and Juliet had had chances to grow old together, would they have endured similar challenges?

Marie Howe writes about another ancient love story . . . 

Persephone

by: Marie Howe

People forget he was a king, a god,

and that down there deep

everything gleamed.

So tight did he hold me I was swaddled hard

so bound I couldn’t move,

and inside that grip he moved          and moved

                                     and it was a monstrosity

an ecstasy     I forgot myself.        I became

an animal again          I screamed.     It didn’t matter how long.

No one put a hand over my mouth.

                      And when it was over

I lay across his knees, on my back, entirely open,

nobody, no one

an animal on the altar of a king—a god.

Okay, so perhaps the myth of Persephone is NOT the most heartwarming or romantic.  I mean, it does begin with a kidnapping and grieving mother (who happens to be a goddess and almost destroys the world in her sorrow).  And Howe doesn’t really portray Persephone as a moony-eyed lover.  She’s more like an animal sacrifice meant to appease the king/god of the Underworld.  That beginning doesn’t bode well for a “happily ever after.”  But, maybe it’s a more realistic picture of the trials and tribulations of romantic love.  

I have loved my wife since the first day I laid eyes on her.  We had a lot of things stacked against us from the start.  There was an age difference that made both of our families a little suspicious.  At the time, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be in a serious relationship; I was a few years into my college education and thinking about graduate school.  She was raised Methodist, and I was a cradle Catholic.  (This may not sound like that big of a deal, but it certainly was for my father, in particular.)  Like I said, a lot of obstacles.

Yet, where love exists, anything is possible.  

As I said earlier, my wife and I have had our share of challenges.  Loss.  Mental illness.  Addiction.  But, to paraphrase Sir Elton John, we’re still standing.  For that, I credit stubbornness, luck, prayer, and quite a lot of grace.

My wife’s family has become my family.  When my sister died of lymphoma of the brain, they were there for me, holding me up, providing love and support (and food for the funeral lunch).  They did the same for the deaths of my brother, parents, and another sister.  I never had to ask or beg for help.  They just stepped in and lightened my burdens.

When I fell in love with my wife, I gained not just a partner, but an entire village of brothers, sisters, aunts, and uncles.  I have been truly blessed with love in my life.

Saint Marty wrote a poem for today about his sister, whom he loved deeply.  She was taken way too soon , , , 

Why?

by: Martin Achatz

I am older now than my sister

will ever be.  She will never fire

up the Keurig to make morning 

coffee again, never sit under

a lonely star and wonder why

her legs won’t help her rise

from her chair, never wrap

a birthday or Christmas present

again.  I wonder, in her last 

breaths, if she still felt longing,

the ache to be held like an infant

in our mother’s arms one more time.

When that comet appeared in the Milky

Way of her brain, and when

that comet became a shower

of August Perseids, did she know

she would be leaving us so

soon?  Were her bags packed,

plenty of socks and underwear

for the long journey?  I can still

see her standing on the deck

of Charon’s boat that last morning, 

waving to me as if she’s just going 

to Walmart to pick up a few things—

toilet paper, toothpaste, a dozen eggs.

February 6, 2026: ‘Another Theory of Time,” Long Week, “Winter Zen”

When I was a kid, summers seemed to last forever.  On the last day of school, when that final bell rang at the end of the day, it felt like a whole life spread out before me.  Sun, swims, movies, books, friends.  Later, in high school, parties, road trips, concerts.  Those three months were a wonderful eternity.

These days, a work week seems like an eternity, and the weekend is a melting snowflake, practically gone before it hits the ground.  As we gain in years, we seem to lose in time.  As Einstein thought, time is relative—the more time we have under our belts, the less time we have left.

Marie Howe meditates on time . . . 

Another Theory of Time

by: Marie Howe

So, I tell my daughter

—we are eating dinner, reading through the book of stories—

I’m worried about Jason.  If I seem distracted, that’s what’s on my mind.

And she says, Take it out of your mind,

then dips and eats a dumpling, and says, But don’t take out Jason.

And this morning at the deli I say, I’m grumpy because

it’s the first day of school, and I’m thinking of so many things,

and she says, Take them out, and I say, How do I do that?

and she says, Think about Now.

I bite into my egg and cheese on a sesame bagel, and it is good.  It is

Although it does bother me—

how she always wants to sit at the tiny deli counter

so near the garbage bins—eating meatballs for breakfast.

Then she says, I can’t remember the future or the past.

The local high school girls order iced coffee and whole wheat bagels

with nothing on them.  My girl eats her meatballs,

and I stare past the cutouts of ham and turkey taped to the window

and think about the moment I want so much to leave

—how small it is sometimes, this Now==

how constricting, me with my bad teeth and aging elbows,

as person after person tosses their trash inches behind my back

before walking out the open door.

The daughter in the poem is wise.  Truly, we can’t do anything about the past, and the future hasn’t even happened yet.  So, that leaves the present, in all of its messy glory.  Human beings spend way too much time lamenting past mistakes, old lovers, the “might have beens”  Or we worry about upcoming final exams, deadlines at work, or doctor’s appointments.  

I wish I could say I was as Zen as the daughter in Howe’s poem.  I’m not.  In fact, I’m already thinking about the coming summer months—my son’s high school graduation and subsequent party, future vacation, unedited poetry manuscript.  And, in the last few weeks, I’ve also been haunted with thoughts of my sister Rose, who passed on January 20 four years ago.  Future and past.  I almost never focus on what’s in front of me.

I’m not proud of that admission.  I think I’d be a lot happier if I could simply enjoy what I’m doing right now:  sitting on my couch on a Friday night, watching the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics in Italy, and petting my puppy.  It’s sort of a perfect moments, surrounded by all the things and people I love, doing the things I love to do.

I think that’s what writing poetry is all about.  A poet captures moments, preserving the emotion and essence of them.  When I sit down with my journal to work on a poem, one of the first things I do is just look around, see what’s in front of me.  Often, the sound of the car driving by outside will cruise right onto the blank page.  Or the snowstorm shaking the windows.  Or the smell of brownies baking in the oven.  All of those Now things.  

And, when I sit down to tap out a blog post on my iPad, those Now things creep in, as well.  Because, really, that’s all I’ve got.  Even at the end of a long week (and this week was L-O-N-G), I only have this: the plate of poutine in front of me, and the smell of my puppy farting on her pillow beside me.  That’s my moment.  (By the way, all the pictures on your phone’s camera roll, those are captured Now moments.  Visual poems, so to speak.)

I am going to try to be a little more Zen this weekend.  Instead of worrying about the movie I’m showing at the library on Monday evening, or my lesson plans for next week’s classes, I’m going to try to take it moment by moment,  song by TV show by poem by nap by walk by movie by meal.  And I’ll probably be a lot happier for the effort.

Saint Marty wrote a poem for this evening about a poet friend enjoying a winter moment , , ,

Winter Zen

by: Martin Achatz

They’re skating on Lake Superior

these days, the water smooth,

hard as unanswered prayer.

Last night, my best friend

rushed to the ice after work,

spun and raced from the shore

to the edge of the world, as if

somewhere beyond the razors 

on her feet were the fresh-shaved

cheeks of May and June, ready

to be smudged with lipstick

at junior prom.

February 1, 2026: “Reincarnation,” Someone Else, “In Response to a Stanza from ‘A Prayer for Old Age’ by William Butler Yeats”

When I was in middle and high school, I wanted to be the reincarnation of Flannery O’Connor.  As an undergrad, I switched to Robert Frost and Walt Whitman.  In grad school, I branched out a little—I wanted to be Mozart 2.0 or van Gogh 2.0.  

I hail from a family of plumbers, and I always wanted to know from whom my artistic abilities came.  I love writing, drawing, acting, singing, playing music.  My father was a great plumber; that was his art.  My mother loved singing and reading and, occasionally, doodling, but she was a pretty common sense lady.  No flights of fancy for her.  My siblings were/are pretty brilliant, as well.  My sister Sally had a photographic memory; she was one of the smartest people I will ever know.  My sister, Rose, who had Down Syndrome, was a genius of love; she could make anyone feel like the most important person in the world.  My brothers (all three of them) have/had innate skills with plumbing and electricity.  I could go on, but you get the idea.

Marie Howe contemplates past lives . . . 

Reincarnation

by: Marie Howe

Sometimes when I look at our dog Jack I think

he might be my radical American History professor come back

to make amends—he gazes at me so sorrowfully.

What is it Jack, I say, why do you look like that?  But Jack

doesn’t answer; he lies down and rests his head on his paws.

Black hair covered nearly all of that man’s body, thick 

under his blue oxford shirt when I put my hand there.

Perhaps that accounted for the bow tie,

the pipe, the tweed cap.

This time I can teach him to sit and to stay.

Stay, I say to Jack who looks at the treat in my hand

and then at me, and at the treat and then at me, and he stays.

Come, I say to Jack, but Jack does not always come.

Sometimes he waits and looks at me a long time,

as when my professor would lean back in his chair

draw on his pipe and gaze at me.

But when I hold a treat Jack comes, and I remember how

the professor would lick dripping honey from the jar

lick peanut butter from the knife.

A little stubborn, our dog Jack,

shy we thought,

until the morning my daughter jumped on my bed

and Jack sprang at her growling,

and the next morning when he rushed towards her growling

and bit her skirt and tore it, and bit her and broke her skin,

and when I went to collar him, bit me, snarling and bit and bit.

That’s when I was pretty sure he was my history professor.

The vet said this happens more often than you’d imagine.

He must always be tethered, she said, until he can be trusted.

He must learn that you and your daughter come first.

And no more couch and no more sleeping in the bed with you Mama,

not ever.

I finally left him so late at night it was nearly dawn—

picking up my boots by the door,

stepping down the two flights, then running towards the car.

What can I say?  Jack may be my American History professor come back.

After all these years to make amends,

or Jack may be actually himself—a dog.

It’s a funny poem, but it sort of touches upon the same question that I started this post with:  from where do talents, gifts, and personalities come?  Howe attributes Jack’s aggression to her former American History professor.  Jack has the same stubbornness, same hunger for food and attention.

I don’t think I carry the spiritual or artistic DNA of Flannery O’Connor or Walt Whitman.  I will never reach the elevated status of Robert Frost or William Butler Years.   Most readers of this blog will agree that those writers were head and shoulders above.  They had gifts that the world will never see again.

I think all artists stand on the shoulders of the greats, from poets to painters to composers to actors.  I know I do.  If I get stuck when I’m writing a poem, I immediately turn to writers who inspire me.  When I go anywhere, I always carry books by favorite poets.  Currently, in my shoulder bag, I have collections by Jonathan Johnson and Ross Gay (plus Marie Howe, of course).  Before I started writing this little reflection, I sat and read some poems from Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude.  Doing that cleared my head, emptied it of noise, and I was able to start writing.

Each time I scribble in my journal or tap away on my laptop, I always feel like I’m a conduit.  I can even tell when it happens—the world suddenly fades away, and I’m can feel someone/something else take over.  Images and words and language flow easily, and, when I’m done, I’ve got a new poem or essay or blog post.  I guess you could call it inspiration, but who knows the true origins of inspiration?  It might God or luck.  Or it might be Flannery O’Connor’s ghost.

I have learned it’s not wise to question the divine spark when it appears.  You just simply accept it and say “thanks.”

Saint Marty wrote a poem for today, inspired by the ghost of William Butler Yeats . . . 

In Response to a Stanza from ‘A Prayer for Old Age’ by William Butler Yeats

by: Martin Achatz

Grant me, God, snow on my tongue

Impossible to ignore;

They who winter the air with words

Cool the July of war.