March 21: Sick Daughter, Sick Worry, Sick and Tired

Yes, my daughter stayed home today from school, as I said in my first post.  She went to the doctor and was diagnosed with basically the same illness my son has/had.  However, she did get her makeup and hair done, and she went to her ballet pictures.  She'll probably go to choir practice tonight, as well.

Ever since my wife lost her job on Monday, I've been experiencing these bouts of what I would call sick worry.  It's where I start thinking about bills and money and debt so much that I feel like I'm going to vomit.  That's been happening several times a day to me.  I know God has a plan in all this crap.  I just hope His plan isn't for me and my family to live in a refrigerator box this summer.  I noticed last night that the house I was dreaming of buying had a "SOLD" sign on it.  That thoroughly depressed me.

I guess I'm just sick and tired of being worried and constantly stressed.  If I could summon up even one percent of an actual saint's faith and trust in God, I think I would be a lot happier right now.  However, I'm just a saint in training.  An apprentice saint, if you will.  At the moment, I don't have any of the saint mojo.  I'm lucky if, when I say the name of God, I don't immediately follow it up with "dammit."

Saint Marty has a lot of work to do.  Maybe he should shave his head and take a vow of poverty.  It wouldn't be that much of a change for him.

I don't deserve to wear this hat