October 9: The Swedish Academy

In the above building, which is the headquarters of the Swedish Academy in Stockholm, on Thursday morning, October 11, at around 6 a.m. EST, Peter Englund, the permanent secretary of the Swedish Academy, will enter the great hall of the building, where the international press will be waiting, and announce the winner of the 2012 Nobel Prize in Literature.

For those of my disciples who have been rooting for me, I thank you.  I have a feeling this may be my year.  I know, I know.  I've said it before.  However, I don't care what the critics are saying.  I don't care if a poet won last year.  It is going to be my year.  Come December, I will be attending the Nobel banquet, eating whatever fish dish is being served.  And I will be brushing up on how to say "thank you" in Swedish.  If I have to, I'll just start doing my impersonation of the Swedish Chef from The Muppet Show.

Mark your calendar.  October 11, Saint Marty will be the winner.  Or he'll be a very bitter, angry loser, in which case he will learn to swear in Swedish.