October 5: A Few Words About Words on Saint Marty's Day

I wold like to provide my readers with a list of words and topics which may not be used or discussed on Saint Marty's Day:

1.  The name of any Republican president since Abraham Lincoln.

2.  Any word that begins with "Mitt" or ends with "Romney."

3.  Organized sports, particularly football or baseball.

4.  Vegetables.

5.  Anything that takes attention away from Saint Marty.

6.  Did I mention any word that begins with "Mitt" or ends with "Romney"?

7.  As a corollary to number 6, any word that begins with "Paul" and ends with "Ryan."

8.  Anything to do with the Republican Party.

9.  The phrase "Nobel Prize in Literature" unless used in the following sentence:  Saint Marty is the winner of the 2012 Nobel Prize in Literature.  (It would be helpful if this sentence is spoken with a Swedish accent.)

10.  Any mean or derogatory statements, unless directed at Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, or the Republican Party.

I think you get the idea.

My day has been going well.  I have gotten phone calls and e-mails and texts from friends and family all morning long.  I even heard from a cousin I haven't spoken with for quite a long time.  It's been wonderful.  One of my coworkers said to me, "I get it now, the spirit of Saint Marty's Day.  It's about sharing goodness with everybody."  I did not correct her.

The real spirit of Saint Marty's Day is sharing goodness (and food and presents) with Saint Marty.

This guy does not celebrate Saint Marty's Day