Belle says this to young Ebenezer when she breaks off their engagement. She wishes him pain in his memory, but she also wishes him happiness in the life of profit and greed he is pursuing. Belle's statement is a little chilling. It touches on that shard of regret every person experiences over the choices he/she makes. Scrooge's choice at this moment in his life sentences him to an existence of loneliness and anger. He goes through his days bitter and disappointed.
Regrets are something I try not to focus on. If I focus on what I could have done, I will never focus on what I will do. Looking backward is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you can dwell on moments of joy and success. On the other hand, like Scrooge above, you can dwell on moments of sadness and loss. Either way, a person can fall into a mire of self-pity or self-congratulation. You can get stuck in the past, like some tired dinosaur in a tar pit, watching the glaciers approach.
The university I teach for is currently looking to hire a fiction writer for a tenure-track teaching position. It's a sweet gig. Graduate classes to teach. Full benefits. Tenure. It's the golden fleece at the end of every writer's quest. I have a Master's degree in fiction. However, I have never published a single short story or essay, unless you count my blog, which (I'm pretty sure) most university search committees won't. My book is a collection of poetry, and my terminal degree is an MFA in poetry.
The job requirements don't frighten me. Teaching twelve credits per semester. Check. Teaching undergraduate and graduate fiction workshops. Check. Commitment to professional/scholarly/creative engagement and service to the Department of English. Yup. Knowledge of principles and methods for course development, and instruction for individuals and groups. Uh-huh. Ability to assess outcomes. You betcha. Ability to teach undergraduate composition and/or literature courses. Already doing that. Ability to communicate effectively verbally and in writing. Check-a-roo. Working effectively with others in productive ways. Pretty much. Ability to manage one's own time and that of others. Let me at 'em.
The sticking point is the fiction thing. I've had success with poetry. I never really pursued publication in fiction. Right now, I'd be in a better place if I'd gotten my MFA in fiction writing. And published a novel or story collection instead of poetry. That's where regret comes into play. I would love to apply for this job, but I know that there are going to be ten other candidates, each with two novels on their curriculum vitae. I don't stand a chance in a market glutted by unemployed fiction writers.
Poetry has not really opened a whole lot of doors for me. One book. No full-time teaching position. No tenure. Seventeen years as a part-time adjunct instructor. I am a poster child of regrets at this moment.
Saint Marty is stuck in the past, a brontosaurus trying to escape extinction.
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| I bet this guy has regrets |
How do you know that your years of service won't count in your favor....you will never get the job if you don't apply, the worst that can happen is they hire someone else, which will certainly happen if you don't apply...the message here is apply and you never know you may just get what you want.
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