Friday, September 13, 2013

September 13: Pretty Loaded, TGIF, Fairy Tale Friday the 13th

After I got all packed, I sort of counted my dough.  I don't remember exactly how much I had, but I was pretty loaded...

No, my financial situation has not changed.  I have not suddenly come into an inheritance from a distant, wealthy relative.  I am simply not going to obsess about money today.  I'm tired of it.  Instead, I'm going to pretend that I, like Holden, am pretty loaded.

I am so glad this week is over.  TGIF.  It has been a week of disaster followed by catastrophe.  I am looking for happiness followed by bliss this weekend.  Don't know if I'm gonna get it, but that's my goal.  When I get home tonight, I'm going for a long run, and I'll follow that up with a evening of Shark Tank.  Perhaps I'll get really crazy and have a bowl of Rice Krispies with a banana.  At this point, I'm not looking for excitement.  I'm looking for unbroken, untroubled relaxation.  Maybe even a nap.

On this Friday the 13th, I want to tell you the tale of a lumberjack named Jason.

Once upon a time, a lumberjack named Jason lived in a peaceful kingdom near an enchanted lake.  Jason had plenty of trees to cut down, and the lake provided him plenty of fish to eat and fresh water to drink.  His life was pretty darn good.

One winter evening, Jason received an e-scroll from the king that informed him all of the trees of the kingdom were enchanted and Jason could no longer cut them down.  Jason was despondent.  "How am I supposed to make a living?" he said to himself.

Suddenly, there was a knock on his cottage door.  When Jason opened the door, Jason's neighbor, a dwarf named Grumpy, was standing there.  "Hey, Jason," Grumpy said, "you wanna be the goalie on our hockey team?  Dopey took a stick to the head last night."  When Jason didn't say anything, Grump added, "You get to wear a really cool mask."

Jason didn't have anything better to do, so he joined the dwarves' hockey team.  All winter long, he practiced with the little guys, and their team was undefeated.  They beat the Lost Boys from Neverland.  They beat the Mad Hatters from Wonderland.  They even beat the previous year's undefeated team, the Winged Monkeys from Oz.  Jason became the most famous goalie in all the kingdoms.

In the spring, when hockey season was over, Jason returned to his cottage.  He was a little sad that he wouldn't be playing hockey any more.  But he got an idea.  Maybe he would go to Hollywood with his goalie mask and try to break into the movie business.

So Jason left his cottage by the beautiful lake and was never heard from again.

Moral of the story:  even if you're a little Grumpy, keep your eye upon your goalies.

And Saint Marty lived happily ever after.

I ain't afraid of you.

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