September 21: Keeping My Head Above Water, Babysitter, Saint Jonah

Today is the feast day of Jonah, he of being-swallowed-by-a-whale fame.  Considered a minor prophet (I don't know what you have to do to graduate to major prophet), Jonah was sent by God to the Ninevites to tell them to stop being bad.  Use your imagination about what the people of Nineveh were doing to tick God off so much.  It probably involved livestock and whipped cream.  Jonah didn't want to go.  Instead, he went on a cruise to the land of Tarshish.  To make a long story short, God nearly sank Jonah's boat.  Jonah got thrown overboard.  He was swallowed by some huge fish.  Three days later, he washed up on the shores of Nineveh, properly humbled, ready to follow God's instructions.

I was having a conversation with a coworker this morning about God making you do things you don't want to do.  My coworker and I have a little problem with stupid people.  She has a son-in-law she can't stand.  Pretty much, when he got circumcised, the doctor threw out the best part.  I, on the other hand, can get quite irritated by any number of idiots I encounter during the course of a day.  My coworker and I both were taught to treat everybody like you would treat Jesus.  Every person, from the kindest of friends to the dumbest of assholes, deserves to be honored and helped.  That's the Christian thing to do.  My coworker and I are both on a boat to Tarshish, about to be swallowed by a seamonster.

I'm trying to keep my head above water, but the whale is somewhere below me.  I can feel it.  God wants me to be kind and grateful for my jobs, my work, my family, my life.  For some reason, I'm having difficulty with this gratitude.  I'm tired of our tiny house.  I'm of getting up before the butt crack of dawn.  I'm tired.  Here comes the whale!

Our babysitter can't come tonight, so my wife is going to choir practice by herself.  I will be staying home, bathing, feeding, and taking care of the kids.  I'm a little disappointed.  I like going to choir practice.  I like seeing the people in the choir.  Plus, there's a going-away party after practice for a friend of mine who's moving.  Thank You, once again, God.

Okay, the whale's got my foot...sucking me under.

Saint Marty will see you on the shores of Nineveh, after he's learned his lessson.  He'll be the one that smells like whale shit.

Which way to Nineveh?