October 25: Rising and Shining, Cro-Magnon

As a kid, I used to be greeted in the mornings by my father sometimes with the words, "Rise and shine."  I can understand the origin of the saying.  Obviously, the sun, at dawn, rises and shines.  However, in my experience, the term is used sarcastically, like seeing someone incredibly hungover and offering him a plate of runny eggs for breakfast.

I have never been a morning person.  The less anyone says to me in the first few hours of the day, the better.  Don't even butter your toast loudly.  I prefer to communicate like Cro-Magnon man when I get out of bed.  A typical conversation goes something like this:

Morning Person:  "Good morning, Saint Marty!"

Me:  "Unnn."

Morning Person:  "How are you today?"

Me:  "Unnnnn."

Morning Person:  "Doing anything fun today?"

Me:  "Unnnnn unnnnn."

Morning Person:  "Didn't you sleep well last night?"

Me:  "Unnnnnnnnnnn."

You get the idea.  I'm not a riser and shiner.  I'm a riser and grunter.  So, I've always wondered how I ended up with a job that gets me out of bed at four o'clock in the morning.  If you check the time stamps of my first posts on weekdays, you'll notice I usually get them written by six or seven in the morning.  That's not by choice.  I just find that if people see me sitting at my computer, pecking away at my keyboard, they leave me alone because they assume I'm hard at work.  It's my way to avoid perky a.m. interaction.

Therfore, if you see me this morning before, let's say, 10 a.m., don't be offended if I stare at you with an expression akin to a person on a strong dosage of Haldol.  Don't get mad if I make some kind of gutteral noise in response to a direct question.

Saint Marty's not the missing link.  He's just not a morning person.

Saint Marty before his shower and Mountain Dew in the morning