I've been thinking about my poem all day long, trying to figure out why it isn't working for me. Form-wise, I like the way it looks. It embodies my idea of where apologies come from. Apologies come between those moments just before you do something wrong and just after. Apologies are frozen moments--microseconds when regret enters the mind. I think that's why I focused on the character of Judas from the Jesus narrative. Judas, the ultimate betrayer. Judas, the ultimate apologizer, as well. And Judas' regrets exist between the moment he puts the rope around his neck and the moment he leaps from the tree. That is why I chose the form I did.
Now, it still isn't working, and it's because there's no personal connection in the poem. I need to come up with an emotional hook. I haven't quite figured out how to do that yet, but I will soon.
I have to find the apology in myself, some place where regret exists in me. That's what I'm working on now. I figure, every parent has regrets, so I'm going to focus on some horrible parenting moment when I let one of my children down. Then, somehow, I'm going to layer the Judas moment with the parenting moment, or vice-versa.
More "Apology" tomorrow.
Saint Marty's all regretted out right now.
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| Not a good parenting choice |
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