September 22: Conduct Me Home, Delight to Torture, New Cartoon

"Spirit!" said Scrooge, "show me no more!  Conduct me home.  Why do you delight to torture me!"

Scrooge begs the Ghost of Christmas Past to return him to his sheltered life.  The phantom has been showing him some pretty painful scenes from his youth, and Scrooge is in some serious psychological pain.  He has seen his neglected childhood and the end of his engagement to Belle, the love of his life.  He doesn't want to see any more of his damaged past.

I have many regrets in my past.  There is one memory, in particular, that distresses me when I think about it.  It happened when I was a teenager in high school.  Every noon hour, I would walk home to lunch with my older sister, who has Down's syndrom.  She always moved slowly, almost unsteadily at times.  We didn't have much time to get home, eat lunch, and get back to school.  Less than 50 minutes.  Being young and thoughtless, I always rushed my sister, yelling, "Come on.  We have to hurry.  Move it."  My sister tried to keep up with me, but always lagged behind.

One day, I was urging my sister to cross a street as a traffic light was turning.  "Hurry up," I called over my shoulder.  I didn't see what happened, but the next thing I knew, my sister was on the ground in the middle of the intersection, crying.  I was more annoyed than concerned.  I went to her, pulled her to her feet, and told her to start walking.  She limped to the corner and stopped.

"It hurts," she said.  "It hurts."

I looked at her.  "We have to get home to eat," I said.  "Start walking."

I made her walk all the way home, at least five or six more blocks.  She fell further and further behind, and I got more and more angry.  When we finally got home, I told my family, "She fell on the way here."

My family descended on her, sitting her down, putting her foot up.  My sister didn't come back to school with me after lunch.

When I got home from school that evening, my mother told me, "Her ankle is really broken.  Really broken.  She's going to need surgery tomorrow.  The doctor's going to put some pins in the bones."

I have never forgiven myself for my actions that day.  I have never forgiven myself for being so cruel to my sister.  To this day, she still walks with a limp.  Because of me.

Saint Marty is going to end this little stroll down memory lane.  Conduct him home.  He does not wish to torture himself anymore.

Confessions of Saint Marty