November 12: Suitcases, Jealousy, Prayer for a Mind of Peace

...The thing is, it's really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than theirs--if yours are really good ones and theirs aren't.  You think if they're intelligent and all, the other person, and have a good sense of humor, that they don't give a damn whose suitcases are better, but they do.  They really do  It's one of the reasons why I roomed with a stupid bastard like Stradlater.  At least his suitcases were as good as mine.

Holden is very aware of social class.  He's gone to every private prep school on the East Coast.  His father is a corporate attorney who finances Broadway plays and musicals as a hobby.  His older brother writes movie scripts in Hollywood.  His parents live in a spacious Manhattan apartment.  If anyone was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, it's Holden Caulfield.  And Holden feel most comfortable around people whose suitcases are of similar quality to his.

I find myself always aware of people's suitcases, if you get my meaning.  Most of my friends and acquaintances have decent luggage, and I'm in a constant state of jealousy.  It's exhausting.  I'm perpetually lamenting what I lack as opposed to being grateful for what I have.  I've been in this state since the beginning of summer, when my financial struggles sort of began.  By the time my head hits the pillow at night, it's throbbing with suitcase envy.  I find it difficult mustering up sympathy or compassion for anyone with nice suitcases, regardless of their problems.

That's not really a good mindset for a person who professes to be a Christian.

So tonight, I want to say a little prayer for a mind of peace.

Dear Father,

Don't roll Your eyes, but it's me again.  I'm wondering if You can help me rid myself of my jealousy.  I'm tired of obsessing over what I don't have or can't afford.  I step into a person's home, and I start counting how many bathrooms and bedrooms it has.  I get a ride in somebody's car, and I notice whether it smells like new car or old McDonald's.  When a friend suggests we go out for dinner, I silently hope for Burger King (Subway if I have a little extra cash).

Help me to see how blessed I am.  I know I'm a heck of a lot better off than a lot of people.  Job-wise.  Health-wise.  Family-wise.  I want fewer suitcases, more gratitude in my brain.  Advent is coming soon, then Christmas.  It's supposed to be a season of light.

Help me to focus more on the light..

Your loving child,

Saint Marty

They have some nice suitcases