Friday, November 15, 2013

November 15: Patterns of Your Mind, My Patterns, Pattern Fairy Tale

"He wouldn't do a goddam thing to you.  He'd simply talk to you, and you'd talk to him, for God's sake.  For one thing, he'd help you to recognize the patterns of your mind."

Old Luce is not very kind to Holden here.  Luce's father is a psychoanalyst.  Holden, who desperately needs to see a mental health professional, asks Luce about what his father does for his patients.  Luce's response is, to put it mildly, less than compassionate.  Of course, Holden can be a pain in the ass.  He is a teenage boy.


I've been thinking a lot about the patterns of my mind recently.  The things I think about, obsess over.  My patterns haven't been too cheerful recently.  I recognize that.  I own that.  I allow myself to get sucked into a whirlpool of negativity on a daily basis.  There are a lot of contributing factors:  money, work, church, home.  Basically, I spend my days jumping from one worry or concern to another.

I choose to do that.  That's the pattern of my mind.  I don't know how to break out of that pattern currently.  My therapist friend told me I should take some steps to feel more empowered in my life.  She wants me to put together a resume and cover letter for being a church organist/worship leader.  Then she wants me to send them out to local churches and see if I get any interest.  My friend also wants me to speak to the English Department Head at the university to reiterate my desire for a larger teaching load (preferably full-time).

I guess it's about trying to take control of my life instead of letting life take control of me, which is my current situation.  Maybe there is something better out there for me.  I wish I could see it.  That's my pattern.

Once upon a time there lived a guy named Rupert who had a lot of patterns in his mind.  Rupert was the royal therapist.  Every day, the king would come to his chambers in the palace and tell Rupert about his problems.  Rupert would sit there, nod, and offer the king advice.

One day, the king said to Rupert, "I've been thinking about putting a swimming pool in my summer palace, but I'm not sure how deep I should make it."  He looked at Rupert.  "I've been losing much sleep over this issue."

Rupert nodded and said, "You majesty, that is a very important decision, but have you taken time to ride through your kingdom recently?"

The king didn't say anything.

Rupert said, "There are people starving in the hills.  Rats are overrunning the cities, spreading bubonic plague.  And people are being thrown in prison because they can't pay the taxes you place on them."

The king still didn't say anything.

Rupert continued.  "Perhaps you should try to help your loyal subjects before you worry about how deep the swimming pool should be in you summer palace."

The king nodded, stood up, and left Rupert's chamber.

Rupert was beheaded the next day.

Moral of the story:  don't lose your head over a swimming pool.

And Saint Marty lived happily ever after.

It's just not worth it...

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