Deer Hit
by: Billy Collins
The morning after
the tawny blur
in the windshield,
a sunny breeze
is stirring the woods
as I regard the damage--
a crumpled fender,
and one headlight
with an eyelash of fur.
Living in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, I have had more than my share of close encounters with deer. In particular, quite a few years ago, after making the last car payment a couple weeks prior, I totaled my Taurus one morning by hitting a doe head-on.
For my disciples who don't live in deer country, I want to make clear that these creatures literally leap across roads and highways, leaving very little time to react properly. In my case, I barely saw the "tawny blur" before my car collided with it.
There's not much you can do when shit like this happens. You can cry. Get pissed. Take inventory of your body parts to make sure they're all intact. Or say a little prayer of thanks for not being injured. If I remember correctly, I did all four.
You may recall, for the past week I've been dealing with no heat in my house. My furnace did not have an encounter with a whitetail. It was simply old and tired. Last night got a little chilly, and, when I woke up, I'd cocooned myself in blankets.
Now, I could get angry or sad, or I could be grateful that my furnace held off until May before going to furnace heaven. I did a little of each. And I'm happy to report that I am the proud owner of a new, high-efficiency furnace as of today, just in time for the upcoming holiday weekend.
Life always has a way of working things out.
Saint Marty is excited about his new furnace. Does that make him old?
Multiple Choice
by: Martin Achatz
When writing a poem, you should
A) find your first line by flipping your pillow over to winter.
B) never use the word "love" unless it's coupled with a bee sting and promise of honey.
C) eat kumquats until your ears ring with sour.
D) let your dog lick it off your fingers like peanut butter.
No comments:
Post a Comment