February 26: Allie's Dead, in Heaven, Saint Gabriel of Our Lady of Sorrows

"I like Allie," I said.  "And I like doing what I'm doing right now.  Sitting here with you, and talking, and thinking about stuff, and--"

"Allie's dead--You always say that!  If somebody's dead and everything, and in Heaven, then it isn't really--"

Holden is arguing with his sister, Phoebe.  She's challenged him to name one thing he likes a lot.  Holden struggles to answer her, begins thinking of one of his classmates from school, James Castle, who jumped from a window to avoid a group of bullies.  He thinks of how quiet Castle was, how nobody would go near him as he lay on the steps where he landed.  And then Holden answers Phoebe.

Holden wasn't really friends with James Castle.  Holden loaned him a turtleneck sweater, the same sweater he was wearing when he leaped to his death.  That's Holden's strongest memory of his classmate, seeing him sprawled on the stairs.  Then Holden thinks of his dead brother, Allie.  Memories of Allie bring Holden pleasure.  At the end of the book, it's Allie Holden invokes to protect him as he's having his breakdown.  Holden recognizes the power of innocence, especially innocence cut short.

February 27 is the feast day of Saint Gabriel of Our Lady of Sorrows, whose life was cut short.  As a young boy in Assisi, Francis (his given name), was popular with his fellow students and teachers at the Jesuit College in Spoleto.  He loved literature and the arts.  As a youth, he was "miraculously cured from two bouts of illness."  This experience led him to the religious life.  He entered the Passionist Institute and took on the name "Gabriel."  He died at age 24 of tuberculosis in 1862.

Gabriel's story doesn't end there, however.  After his death, miracles began occurring at his tomb.  One girl was healed of pulmonary tuberculosis and periostitus, and a boy was cured of an inoperable hernia.  Gabriels tomb and monastic house have become shrines in his memory.  He is known as the patron saint of clerics and youth.

Gabriel is a saint Holden could get into.  Still really a child when he died, Gabriel is like Allie and James Castle.  Always young and innocent, untouched by adult worries and cares.  Holden sees the world of adults as corrupt, disingenuous, phony.  He sees the world of children as care-free, true, and pure.

Last night, I wanted to kill my four-year-old son.  I was trying to undress him for his bath.  He started punching and kicking me.  Then, as I was carrying him to his time-out corner, he bit my arm hard enough to break skin.  When I put him in that corner, I said, very quietly, "do...not...move...from...here," and I walked away from him.  If I had stayed by him, I'm afraid would have cut my son's innocence short on the spot.

After ten minutes of crying, shouting, and weeping (not mine, my son's), I went back to him.  He was a puddle on the floor.  I stood him up and told him I loved him a lot, but, I said, "You really hurt daddy."  He started gulping sobs, reached out, and put his arms around my neck.

It was a strong, good hug.  A loving hug.  A healing hug.  It was a hug Holden and Saint Gabriel would have appreciated.  Full of real innocence and love.

Saint Marty's son survived the night .  Barely.

Saint Gabriel's Death