July 16: Searching My Mind, Coming Up Blank, "Carol" Dip

Usually, when I sit down to type my morning post, I perform a little inventory, searching my mind to see what subject preoccupies my thoughts.  This morning, when I sat down at the keyboard, I took inventory.  Then, I took inventory again.  I checked a third time, just to make sure my results were accurate.  They were.  My shelves are empty.  I'm coming up blank.  My cup is half-empty.  I can lead a horse to water, but I can't make him give me a subject.  The grass isn't greener over my septic tank.  Life is giving me lemons, and I don't know how to make lemonade.  My well is dry.  I've been through the desert on a horse with no name.

You get the idea.  I could write about how I'm falling asleep in between each sentence, but I don't think any of my disciples want to read another post about how tired I am.  Every Monday is the same story.  I'm tired.  Need caffeine.  It's the mantra of my life.  Therefore, I'm going to cut my losses and get straight to the Carol dip for today.

After much thought, and a whole lot of self-reflection and moral wrestling, I've come up the the following question to ask the great book of Dickens:

Is Tom Cruise as nutty as he seems?

And the answer from Charles Dickens is:

...The way he went after that plump sister in the lace tucker, was an outrage on the credulity of human nature.  Knocking down the fire-irons, tumbling over the chairs, bumping up against the piano, smothering himself among the curtains, wherever she went, there went he...

There you have it, folks.  Katie Holmes got out in the nick of time.  Tom is nuttier than a jar of Planter's Dry Roasted Peanuts, an outrage on the credulity of human nature.  It's official.

Saint Marty needs a nap now.

Call the guys with the butterfly nets!