May 9: Ice Cream, Whipped Cream, and Strawberries

At work this afternoon, all employees of the Health System for which I work were treated to ice cream sundaes in celebration of National Hospital Week.  My particular sundae consisted of vanilla ice cream (the only flavor of ice cream that counts), crushed Butterfingers, crushed Oreo, crushed Snickers, a dollop of strawberries, a squidge of whipped cream, and several maraschino cherries.  It was supposed to make us feel appreciated by the hospital.  I must say that I didn't feel appreciated, until I went back for my second sundae.  Then I felt appreciated.

I generally try to stay away from food as a reward for anything.  I don't believe in giving my kids food if they behave.  (My daughter always want an app for her iPod touch for a reward, although my son can be bribed with M&Ms when I'm in a hurry.  Not that I do that very often.)  If I'm going to reward myself for working hard, I will give myself some extra time to write.  Or I'll set aside some extra reading time.  If I'm craving something more commercial, I will go to my Amazon.com shopping cart, in which I have about 112 items saved for later.  I will choose a reward from my cart and purchase it, including a free gift card in the package that says something like, "Dear Saint Marty, you are awesome!"

I have been accused of trying to sabotage people's resolve to eat healthier foods.  For instance, I applied a little pressure on a friend/coworker this afternoon.  She had declared that she was going on the wagon.  No candy.  No sugar.  She ate some kind of squash and tomato soup that smelled like radiator fluid for lunch.  I cajoled and teased and pressed her into going to get an ice cream sundae for herself.  She did.  Then she ate it.  Perhaps I do have a slightly evil streak.

I am currently listening to the audio book of Steve Almond's Candy Freak in my car.  I have begun to realize that I am, as Almond would say, a freak of the highest degree.  I don't understand people who don't eat candy or ice cream or cake.  It's beyond the pale of normalcy for me.  Maybe that's why I want people to eat free ice cream sundaes.  It's just normal.  Really.

Saint Marty, you are awesome!  Have some more ice cream.

Resistance is futile!