December 4: Charles Dickens, Mixed Up, a Wednesday Prayer

...Her goddam hat blows off and he catches it, and then they go upstairs and sit down and start talking about Charles Dickens.  He's both their favorite author and all.  He's carrying this copy of  Oliver Twist and so's she.  I could've puked...

It's the time of year to talk about Charles Dickens.  After all, the guy practically invented Christmas as we know it today.  If it weren't for Scrooge and company, we probably wouldn't have the Grinch or George Bailey or Ralphie.  Snow and Christmas trees and presents and Santa Claus and small children with disabilities.  Nothing says Christmas like a dying child singing a carol.  Or a huge family, living in a shabby house, celebrating the holiday with a two-pound goose and an ounce of gin punch.

Yes, I'm feeling very Christmasy tonight.  I'm sitting on my couch, watching an SNL Yuletide special.  Tomorrow is my daughter's thirteenth birthday.  I'm going to her Christmas concert tomorrow night.  Lots of fa-la-la-la-la-laing and decking the halling.

I got a little mixed up yesterday.  Today is Wednesday.  Usually, I write about one of my many worries on Wednesdays.  Well, I got ahead of myself, and I wrote about worries on Tuesday.  This mistake may not seem like such a big deal, but I'm all messed up this evening.  I'm a creature of habit, and I want to talk about worries right now.

For instance, I want to talk about the crappy weather.  It's been snowing all day.  Now, it's raining, and they just cancelled school tomorrow for my daughter.  That probably means that her holiday concert is cancelled, as well.  If the university cancels classes tomorrow, I'm screwed.  I'm supposed to give my final exam tomorrow afternoon.  As I sit here, watching TV, the schools are falling like holly berries in a wind storm.  One by one they're dropping.

Well, I don't control the weather.  I don't control school closings.  I don't control anything.  I'm just going to say a little prayer that things turn out for the best.

Dear God,

 I'm not enjoying this weather.  It's messing things up.  I had plans.  I had my life figured out.  Final exam tomorrow in class.  Concert tomorrow night.  Birthday sleepover for my daughter Friday night.  I don't like it when You change things on me.

I know, I know.  You've got a plan.  You've always got a plan.  I just wish You'd share it with me every once in a while.  You don't have to show me everything.  I don't need to know what's going to happen in Syria or Pakistan.  You don't need to show me what's going to happen in the Middle East.  I'd like a little peak at 2014.   Stuff like jobs and money and family.  But I'll settle for a glimpse at tomorrow.

But that's not going to happen.  It's all about trust.  I have to trust You.  I haven't had good success with that recently.  Trust isn't something I'm really good at.

My prayer is for trust.  Help me to feel Your touch in my life.  And don't screw up my final exam tomorrow afternoon.

Thanks.

Your loving child,

Saint Marty

C'mon, God, give me a break