Monday, July 18, 2011

July 18: SKUNK!!!!!

Just thought I'd write a quick post this morning, letting you know how my week is beginning.

When I came out of my front door this morning, I saw my garbage can on its side, garbage scattered across my lawn and sidewalk.  Well, I said something very unsaint-like, loudly.  A skunk came scurrying out of the garbage can and ran.  I immediately scrambled backward, into my porch, and said something else that I'm pretty sure will land me in the seventh or eighth circle of hell.

The stink was immediate.  I stood in the porch, not sure if I'd been in the line of skunk fire.  Then, I went back into the house and asked my wife to smell me.  She couldn't smell anything.  I had her smell my book bag.  Nothing.  I had her smell the case of Diet Mountain Dew I was lugging.  Nothing.

Satisfied, I got in my car and drove to work.  As I was driving, I kept smelling skunk.  (Mind you, I'm the person who cannot smell skunk unless it's so strong it would bring a normal person to her knees.)  When I got to my office, I called my sister and asked to if she would smell me.  I drove to my sister's place of work.

She sniffed me.  I didn't stink.  I brought one of my bags to her.  She took one whiff and backed away.  Bingo.

To make a long story even longer, I had to jettison a leather binder in which I carry my daily planner.  I had to throw out the actual bag, and I'm trying to salvage a couple books I'm unwilling to part with.

And, as I sit here typing this, I'm paranoid.  I keep smelling something rotten in the state of Denmark.

Saint Marty is having a pretty shitty morning.

Not a great start to the week...

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