February 21: Unpleasant Green Body, My Inner Child, Poetry Reading and Beer

Let me introduce you to . . .

Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz heaved his unpleasant green body round the control bridge.  He always felt vaguely irritable after demolishing populated planets.  He wished that someone would come and tell him that it was all wrong so that he could shout at them and feel better.  He flopped as heavily as he could onto his control seat in the hope that it would break and give him something to be genuinely angry about, but it only gave a complaining sort of creak.

"Go away!" he shouted at a young Vogon guard who entered the bridge at that moment.  The guard vanished immediately, feeling rather relieved.  He was glad it wouldn't now be him who delivered the report they'd just received.  The report was an official release which said that a wonderful new form of spaceship drive was at this moment being unveiled at a Government research base on Damogran which would henceforth make all hyperspatial express routes unnecessary.

Another door slid open, but this time the Vogon captain didn't shout because it was the door from the galley quarters where Dentrassis prepared his meals.  A meal would be most welcome.

A huge furry creature bounded through the door with his lunch tray.  It was grinning like a maniac.

Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz was delighted.  He knew that when a Dentrassi looked that pleased with itself there was something going on somewhere on the ship that he could get very angry indeed about.

Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz is not in a good mood, however you define "good" for a Vogon.  He's feeling out of sorts and is looking for someone or something to yell at.  It seems Vogons aren't that big on being in touch with their inner children, searching out childhood sources of pain and anger and confusion.

I, on the other hand, am very much in touch with my inner child, and I know exactly what it making me feel anxious at the moment.  In about an hour's time, I have to do a poetry reading.  That isn't enough to cause me anxiety.  I do poetry readings all the time.  However, this particular reading is at a venue where I've never read before.  The place is going to be filled not only with my poetry circle of friends, but also colleagues from the English Department and grad students.  Plus, I'm reading with the head of the English Department.

Combine all of those factors, and that makes me one out-of-sorts Vogon.  I've done everything I can to prepare for this reading.  I've culled through my poems, come up with an order that seems logical.  I just don't know how the group of people will respond to my work.  It's my typical pre-reading jitters.

All I can do is show up, be myself, and, hopefully, get a laugh or two.  And drink some beer.  Beer is a big part of tonight.

Saint Marty is as ready as he's ever going to be.