January 8: Moving Forward Tonight

Yes, I had my meeting with the pastor this morning.  It was productive in the sense that I can close the door on the whole situation at church.  I was pretty frank about my feelings.  My anger.  My sense of betrayal.  I didn't hold back.

Am I still angry?  Yes.  Do I still feel like a used napkin?  Yup.  I think the hardest part of the whole encounter was hearing that the reason I didn't get rehired by the church was because I wasn't a good enough organist.  After 15 years of playing the organ for the church, that was a little difficult to hear.

But I'm moving forward tonight.  I have to.  There's really no turning back.  I do know that I will never accept a job offer from this particular church again, and forgiveness is not in my emotional vocabulary at the moment.

Saint Marty needs to simply let go.  Let go, and let God do the rest.

Guilty as charged