July 8: Race Tomorrow, Decorating Float, Parade

It's going to be a busy weekend.  Tomorrow morning, I'm running a two-mile race with my daughter and son.  I participate in this race every year.  It's a benefit for the local chapter of Big Brothers Big Sisters.  I'll be pushing my son in a stroller.  From what I remember of the race course last year, there's only one really nasty hill to navigate.  Of course, that hill comes almost at the end of the entire thing, when you're ready to die.  My daughter, a few years ago, had a complete meltdown in the middle of the race because I forgot to bring her bottle of water.  There we were, in the woods, my daughter screaming and crying and sitting on the ground.  Not a good scene.

Last year's Fun Run.  I'm in there somewhere.

Tonight, I have to decorate a float for a parade tomorrow.  Usually, I avoid being a part of parades.  I prefer to sit on a curb and collect the candy that's thrown.  However, the band of which I'm a member was asked to play on a float.  I'm doing it for Jesus.  I'm hoping tonight's preparations won't take too long.

Last year's parade

My wife's twentieth class reunion is taking place Saturday night, as well.  She hasn't received an invitation, doesn't know where it's being held.  Supposedly, her class has a float in the parade.  She can't find out anything about that, either.  She wants to go the reunion instead of the fireworks tomorrow night.  I hate those kinds of events.  Plus, our daughter will be really disappointed if she doesn't get to go to the fireworks.  That's another worry.

However, my biggest worry today is about money.  During the summers, I don't teach at the university.  Being an adjunct, I'm a contract instructor.  That means, every semester, I have to sign a new contract.  I'm never guaranteed anything.  Well, when the checks stop coming from the university about mid-April, things start getting really lean, financially.  This summer, we've had three huge car repairs, totalling over $2,000.  Those repairs, coupled with the normal monthly bills, have depleted our savings account substantially.  For some reason, today I've found myself in an absolute state of panic about money.  It's grocery day, and we also have to pay the water bill, which I just realized was overdue.  I don't get another paycheck until next Friday.

I don't know why I'm sharing all this information with you.  Worry, especially money worries, tend to really throw me off-balance.  I often hear stories about people who are at the end of their ropes, financially, and hand their concerns over to God; those stories usually end with some unexpected check arriving in the mail or a forgotten loan that's suddenly repaid in the nick of time.  I have a really hard time turning things over to God like that.  I'm not sure if it's a problem with faith or trust or fear.  It's probably all of those things rolled into one, huge, sweaty ball of worry.  I've been trying to relax, pry my fingers off the steering wheel, so to speak.  It's tough.  I like to be in the driver's seat.

This weekend is going to be a complete lesson in letting go.

Saint Marty hopes he survives.

I'm trying.