October 21: Hysterics, Panicked Morning, Prayer for the Lost

"That remains to be seen.  But I am going to save you, and I want you to quiet down immediately.  You're carrying on in a childish way.  Stop your crying!  I can't stand hysterics!"

Wilbur certainly knows how to get hysterical.  He does it several times in Charlotte's Web.  In the passage above, the sheep has just told him about Zuckerman's plan to turn him into pork chops and bacon come winter time.  I think Wilbur has every right to become a little unglued.  However, Charlotte, ever practical and calm, doesn't put up with his "childish" carrying on.  She calms him down like a mother would calm down an out-of-control toddler.  Firmly.  With authority.

This morning, I came a little unglued myself.  I gave myself a bolus of insulin from my insulin pump.  The pump ran out of insulin, and, when I went to replace the reservoir, I discovered that my bag containing my last bottle of insulin was M. I. A.  I couldn't find it anywhere.

So, I drove down to the university and ransacked my office.  Then I went to my classroom and ransacked that, as well.  When nothing turned up, I went to the medical office where I work and ransacked my little space there.  Nothing again.  So, I called Public Safety at the university to see if anybody had turned in my insulin pump supplies.  Nope.  It was around 7:30 a.m. by this time.

I had to wait until the pharmacy opened at 8:30 a.m. to get more insulin.  By the time I was on my way to the pharmacy, my blood sugar had climbed to around 250.  I was feeling crappy and tired.

So, I guess what I'm saying is that I can get a little hysterical myself.  I still haven't found my insulin pump bag.  Have no idea where it is.  But I have insulin now, and I'm not in danger of slipping into a coma.  Really, my freak out of this morning didn't really help me at all.  It didn't help me locate my lost belongings.  It didn't help keep my blood sugar in check.  It didn't do anything.

It's a matter of trusting God, and I didn't do that.  Instead, I went into Chicken Little mode.  The sky was falling.  Tonight, even though I still haven't found my insulin pump bag, I'm calmer.  I know I will find it.  I have made the transition to peace of mind.

So I'm asking you guys to say a little prayer for me.  Help me to find my lost diabetes supplies.  Tonight.  Before I drive myself crazy again.

Saint Marty is very good at crazy.

Where's that damn insulin bag?!!!!