October 22: In Love, My Daughter, a Boyfriend

Despite his satirical gibes at romance and sexuality, even as he and Thurber wrote their book [E. B. White] was already in love again.  This time the focus of his affection was a highly respected professional woman, a writer and editor who was several years older and decades more mature than he.  He had fallen for his co-worker and editor, the woman who had brought him aboard The New Yorker--Katharine Angell.

E. B. White might have been an up-and-coming writer, the voice of the fledgling The New Yorker, and friend of many of the best writers of his generation, but he was also a young man in the 1920s.  As such, White's actions were guided by more than literary aspirations, if you get my gist.

Last night, on the way home from dance class, my daughter told me she has a boyfriend.  In fact, she has had this boyfriend for almost three weeks, but she's been afraid to tell me.  Driving in the dark car, I tried to keep myself composed as I listened to her.

"Oh," I said.  "Where did you meet this boyfriend?"

She met him at Bible camp two summers ago.

"And what is this boyfriend's name?" I said.

Joe.

"Where does Joe live?" I said.

He lives in a town located about an hour-and-a-half away.

"And how old is this Joe?"

He's going to be fifteen soon, and he's going to be taking driver's ed.

"Oh," I said, "so he can't drive yet?"

No, but he'll have his permit in a while.

"And what does this Joe do with his time?" said I.

He's a football player.

Pause.  "That doesn't really sell him to me, sweetheart," I said.

Daddeeeeeeee.

"Does he read?"

Pause.  I don't know.

"What's his favorite subject in school?"

Ummmm.  Science, I think.  That's good, right?

Silence.  "How did he ask you to be his girlfriend?"

He used Snapchat.

"Snapchat?" I said.  "He used Snapchat to ask you out?"

Nod.

The rest of our conversation was just as informative.  To sum up the information I was able to drag out of my daughter:

• She hasn't seen the boyfriend in person for almost two years.
• The last book he read was a novel called Unbreakable, which is about football.
• He has read The Catcher in the Rye for school.
• I make him nervous (a good thing).
• He's going to try to come to my daughter's ballet recital in February.
• He can't drive (another good thing).
• He goes deer hunting.

Basically, my daughter is "dating" a Yooper high school football player who probably wears flannel all the time and kill things with guns and whose idea of great literature is a sports column.  He ain't E. B. White, that's for sure.

Saint Marty did not sleep well last night.

I need to buy some ammunition