May 24: Simplicity, Saint Simeon Stylites the Younger, Columns

I've written before about Simeon Stylites the Younger, today's feast saint.  If you check my post from last year on this date, you will read how Simeon spent the majority of his life perched on top of columns in the mountains.  He did this to avoid the normal pitfalls of human existence and to aid his prayer life.  Even the bishop who ordained him climbed up the column to lay hands on him.  The other monks of the hermitage scaled the ladder to receive communion from him.  Simeon lived up there for decades.

The simplicity of Simeon's existence sort of appeals to me.  He didn't have to worry about setting alarms to get up in the morning for work.  He didn't have to do dishes or make beds or prepare food.  He was like that guy in the Dr. Seuss book The Lorax, lowering a bucket from his tower window and having everything he needed given to him.  Simeon completely trusted God to provide everything--food, drink, clothing, books, whatever.  I wish I could have that kind of trust.  I wish I didn't spend a majority of my day worrying about mortgage payments, doctor's appointments, real estate agents, cranky relatives, American Idol.  I wish I could wake up, hand all my concerns over to God, and enjoy the rest of my day.

There's really nothing that's stopping me from doing just that.  Worry and fear are the greatest enemies of faith.  Unfortunately, worry and fear seem to be my prime motivators most of the time.  As soon as one concern has been dealt with (for example, I just found out I have classes to teach in the fall semester), another concern replaces it (I have never taught a class in mythology before and have a lot of prep work to do).  I wish I could simply collect all my worries in my hands, climb to the top of a tall building or platform, and let the wind just take them away like so much dandelion fluff.  It worked for Simeon.  It's a great dream.

However, I'm the kind of person who would climb down from my perch and go searching for my problems, in bushes and tree branches and puddles.  I probably wouldn't stop until I'd retrieved each and every one of them.  That's the kind of person I am.  I don't thrive on worry.  But I'm comfortable with it.  When I don't have something to worry about, I get anxious.  I worry.  It may be a mental illness, which is another thing I can add to my bucket of concerns.

This afternoon, my wife and I have a counseling appointment.  We've been seeing this wonderful psychologist for a while, and our sessions seem more like visits with a good friend.  In the past, visits with therapists have brought revelations into my life that haven't been very pleasant.  I'm not expecting anything like that today, but it's always in the back of my mind as I sit on the doctor's couch, eating jelly beans.

I'm going to try to do something for the rest of the day.  I'm going to climb to the top of a metaphorical column, and I'm going to release my fears.  I'm going to imagine blue sky, sun, birds, pine trees, and warmth.  I'm not going to think about dinner or car insurance or who's going to win Dancing With the Stars tonight.  I'm going to just...trust.

Care to join Saint Marty?

Fill my bucket with chocolate, please