Sleeping in the Forest
by: Mary Oliver
I thought the earth
remembered me, she
took me back so tenderly, arranging
her dark skirts, her pockets
full of lichens and seeds. I slept
as never before, a stone
on the riverbed, nothing
between me and the white fire of the stars
but my thoughts, and they floated
light as moths among the branches
of the perfect trees. All night
I heard the small kingdoms breathing
around me, the insects, and the birds
who do their work in the darkness. All night
I rose and fell, as if in water, grappling
with a luminous doom. By morning
I had vanished at least a dozen times
into something better.
Oliver is surrounded by the small kingdoms of the wild--insect and bird--breathing their dark work. She says she rises and falls all night, as if floating in a midnight pond or lake, facing a luminous doom, disappearing over and over into the goodness of the universe.
It's not an easy thing to lose yourself, to give up the insectile or elephantine struggles of every day. Humans have a habit of wearing blinders, to blot out all else but what is in front of their eyes, and, of course, what is in front of their eyes is only what they choose to see.
In the last couple weeks, the Middle East has been torn apart by conflict and violence. I've been aware, in a superficial way, of the ongoing hostilities, just like I'm aware in a superficial way of the ongoing violence in the Ukraine. (Notice, I'm not using the word "war," but perhaps that's just me wearing my blinders.) I guess I'm just like every other person--unless I'm directly affected by the violence taking place in the world, I don't pay as close attention as I do, say, to prices at the gas pump.
I'm not willfully ignoring the situation in Israel. Simply put, I haven't had the opportunity to sit down and try to understand what's going on. Thus, I haven't been actively worrying about the possibility of an all-out nuclear holocaust. I truly don't get hatred, no matter what motivates it. (This coming from a white male who has benefitted from white male privilege his whole life.)
I have witnessed cruelty up close and personal. I grew up with a sister who had Down syndrome and was the target of bullying most of her school career. Ignorance and intolerance were classmates of my sister, never missing an opportunity to take advantage of her defenselessness.
My sister loved singing, and she was in the high school chorus. She didn't sing well, but she sang with more heart and passion than all the rest of the students in the chorus combined. When she sang, she moved her shoulders, danced. She couldn't help it. Well, just before one performances, another member of the chorus told my sister to just mouth the words and not use her voice. "You're making us sound bad," the girl said. My sister stood on the stage that night, not moving or singing, looking like her puppy had just been killed by a car.
That's what I'm talking about--how human beings can be so cruel and hateful to each other. I just don't get it.
When countries go to war, innocent people die. That's fact. I'm not sure any cause or disagreement is worth that price. And when someone is deliberately cruel and intolerant, innocent people suffer. Nothing warrants that kind of heartbreak, either.
Don't wear blinders. Look far. Notice. Open your mouth and speak up for the innocent and weak. Be a vessel of peace instead of a conduit of hatred.
Saint Marty wants to make the world golden instead of filling it with darkness.
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