The Infinite Improbability Drive is a wonderful new method of crossing vast interstellar distances in a mere nothingth of a second, without all that tedious mucking about in hyperspace.
It was discovered by a lucky chance, and then developed into a governable form of propulsion by the Galactic Government's research team on Damogran.
This, briefly, is the story of its discovery.
The principle generating small amounts of finite improbability by simply hooking the logic circuits of a Bambleweeny 57 Sub-Meson Brain to an atomic vector plotter suspended in a strong Brownian Motion producer (say a nice hot cup of tea) were of course well understood--and such generators were often used to break the ice at parties by making all the molecules in the hostess's undergarments leap simultaneously one foot to the left, in accordance with the Theory of Indeterminacy.
Many respectable physicists said that they weren't going to stand for this, partly because it was a debasement of science, but mostly because they didn't get invited to those sorts of parties.
Another thing they couldn't stand was the perpetual failure they encountered in trying to construct a machine which could generate the infinite improbability field needed to flip a spaceship across the mind-paralyzing distances between the farthest stars, and in the end they grumpily announced that such a machine was virtually impossible.
Then, one day, a student who had been left to sweep up the lab after a particularly unsuccessful party found himself reasoning this way:
If, he thought to himself, such a machine is a virtual impossibility, then it must logically be a finite improbability. So all I have to do in order to make one is to work out exactly how improbable it is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give it a fresh cup of really hot tea . . . and turn it on!
He did this, and was rather startled to discover that he had managed to create the long-sought-after golden Infinite Improbability generator out of thin air.
It startled him even more when just after he was awarded the Galactic Institute's Prize for Extreme Cleverness he got lynched by a rampaging mob of respectable physicists who had finally realized that the one thing they really couldn't stand was a smart-ass.
I am frequently guilty of being a smart-ass. I don't get stupidity and stupid decisions. They flummox me. When I recognize particularly wrong-headed ideas, I tend to point them out. I use logic and common sense to try to rectify these kinds of mistakes. Because of my inability to keep my mouth shut, I sometimes come off as a smart-ass.
That has happened frequently to me over the last couple months dealing with the shutdown of the surgery center where I have worked for the last 20 or so years. I understand healthcare economics. I semi-understand corporate economics. Healthcare in the United States, for better or worse, is governed by money. It is what drives the entire system. Oh, and, if it doesn't cost too much, some lives may be saved, as well.
That being said, I spent today training a person to do a job that I've been doing for the last two decades. I like this trainee. She's smart and has been working in healthcare for a very long time. However, my job is now being shifted off to this person and four different departments. That's right. Instead of simply paying me to continue to do the job for another few months, the administration would rather pay, at the minimum, five people to do the work. That makes no sense to me.
Today, I pointed this fact out to several people in smart-assy ways and non-smart-assy ways. I cannot change this decision (regardless of how improbable it seems to me). I just have to roll with it and be thankful that I have a job. I am grateful for that. (Perhaps there is some logic operating here that I'm not aware of. That's possible, I guess.) However, as I said above, stupid decisions get under my skin.
But I am living in a time of stupid decisions. The country I live in is being run by a majorly stupid decision with orange skin and hair. President Stupid Decision is being enabled to make more stupid and cruel decisions by a Congress full of more elected stupid decisions. It's a complete era governed not by common sense, but by common nonsense. At the moment, my job situation, I guess, is a reflection of this, as well.
That is my wisdom tonight, not that anybody cares to listen to it. It seems my wisdom is not highly valued at the moment. So be it.
Tonight, right now, Saint Marty is going to make a good decision--it involves Chicken in a Biscuit crackers and cheese.
Hang in there; eventually the pendulum swings the other way, and a different kind of stupid will have a chance to emerge :-)
ReplyDelete