August 1: Human Sympathy, Nuts, Bad Mood

But what did Scrooge care?  It was the very thing he liked.  To edge his way along the crowded paths of life, warning all human sympathy to keep its distance, was what the knowing ones call "nuts" to Scrooge.

Everyone familiar with A Christmas Carol knows this little passage from the beginning of the novel (except maybe the "nuts" part, which never makes it into the stage or screen adaptations).  It describes a man who has a hatred of humanity, who sees fellow human beings as annoyances.  Scrooge is a hater.  He hates all people.

I'm with Scrooge today.  Yesterday, I was in a great mood.  That great mood lasted all day long.  When I got home last night, I went for a two-and-a-half mile run.  Then I gave my son a bath, put him to bed, watered my pumpkins, and sat down to watch the Olympics.  Yesterday was sepia.

Today is verging on Hitchcock noir.  A friend recently shared this bit of wisdom with me:  "I used to be a people person, but people ruined it for me."  That pretty much sums up my feelings today.  I don't want to deal with anyone.  I call these kinds of days "cave days," as in I just want to crawl into the deepest, darkest part of a cave and stay there.  Maybe I should start calling them Ebenezer days or Scrooge days.  Anyway, I just don't want to deal with people.

I'm sure my mood will improve as the day progresses.  I won't need ghosts to aid me with that attitude adjustment.  I just need time.  And food.  Maybe some caffeine.  And a healthy dose of sarcasm.

Saint Marty doesn't hate all people.  Just stupid ones.  And annoying ones.  And whining ones.  And loud ones.  And quiet ones.  And...

Nuts to people

March 7: Nuts, Meeting, Human Sympathy

But what did Scrooge care?  It was the very thing he liked.  To edge his way along the crowded paths of life, warning all human sympathy to keep its distance, was what the knowing ones call "nuts" to Scrooge.

I have no idea what that "nuts" comment means.  Let me get that out of the way.  However, this morning, I'm really feeling the first part of this little passage quite strongly.  I understand the compulsion to shy away from crowds of people.  I'm not much of a small talker.  The kind of banter that goes on between people who know each other superficially strikes me as a big waste of time.  I know what you're thinking right now:  "He must be a blast at dinner parties!"

Let me correct your misconception.  I didn't say I was bad at small talk and superficial banter.  I said I hated being in situations that require me to participate in it.  I can bullshit with the best of 'em.  Hey, I was an English major.  There's a fair amount of bullshitting that goes along with that degree.  I can make the most dull and dreadful people think I really care about what they're saying.  It's one of my many talents.  That doesn't mean I enjoy doing it.

The reason I'm on this little rant so early is that I have to attend a meeting later this morning that basically will require me to do everything that I've just discussed.  Make small talk.  Be charming.  Pretend I care.  I much prefer to stay in my own little box, with the shades drawn, warning all human sympathy to keep its distance.  Just like Scrooge.  However, this meeting is necessary, and I have to appear to be a team player.  Therefore, I will be one of the Stepford employees today.  Stand when they tell me to stand.  Sit when they tell me to sit.  Applaud when they tell me to applaud.  And make small talk.  Lots of it.

And the knowing ones call that "nuts" to Saint Marty.  (What the hell does that mean?)

I wish...