Ford could sense it and found it most mysterious--a ship and two policemen seemed to have gone spontaneously dead. In his experience the Universe simply didn't work like that.
The other three could sense it too, but they could sense the bitter cold even more and hurried back into the Heart of Gold suffering from an acute attack of no curiosity.
Ford stayed, and went to examine the Blagulon ship. As he walked, he nearly tripped over an inert steel figure lying face down in the cold dust.
"Marvin!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing?"
"Don't feel you have to take any notice of me, please," came a muffled drone.
"But how are you, metalman?" said Ford.
"Very depressed."
"What's up?"
"I don't know," said Marvin, "I've never been there."
"Why," said Ford, squatting down beside him and shivering, "are you lying face down in the dust?"
"It's a very effective way of being wretched," said Marvin. "Don't pretend you want to talk to me. I know you hate me."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do, everybody does. It's part of the shape of the Universe. I only have to talk to somebody and they begin to hate me. Even robots hate me. If you just ignore me I expect I shall probably go away."
He jacked himself up to his feet and stood resolutely facing the opposite direction.
"That ship hated me," he said dejectedly, indicating the policecraft.
"That ship?" said Ford in sudden excitement. "What happened to it? Do you know?"
"It hated me because I talked to it."
"You talked to it?" exclaimed Ford. "What do you mean you talked to it?"
"Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it," said Marvin.
"And, what happened?" pressed Ford.
"It committed suicide," said Marvin, and stalked off back to the Heart of Gold.
It's pretty difficult dealing with chronic depression. Yes, even a robot with chronic depression is difficult, even though you can simply deactivate or reprogram it. It takes a lot of energy to combat the constant barrage of darkness. Having dealt with my wife's depressive episodes, and dealt with my own depression, I understand both sides of this equation.
At the moment, someone I care about very deeply is dealing with someone who seems to be dealing with depression/anger issues. (Yes, this is going to be one of those posts where I write in veiled terms and changed names, like a psychiatrist writing a case study for the American Psychiatric Association. It's not my place to reveal this person, or her personal business, to the virtual world.) Let's call my person "Lulu," just because I like typing that name.
Now, Lulu has a significant other who is much like Marvin the robot at the moment. His view of the universe pretty much mirrors Marvin's view. People (and robots) who are depressed can't help it. It's all about brain chemistry. Speaking as a person who has suffered from episodes of depression, I understand where Lulu's significant other is. Nothing seems bright. There are brief vacations from the darkness, times with family or friends that make you laugh and forget for a little while. But, when you return to your normal day, your normal routine, the darkness is always there waiting for you.
Sometimes, when you're depressed or unhappy, those emotions can mask themselves as dissatisfaction with your significant other. Because you are feeling inadequate, you find inadequacies with your significant other. You question their loyalty or love. Trust becomes difficult. Remember, all of this exists only in the mind of the depressed person. Love and loyalty and trust have nothing to do with it.
Lulu has done nothing wrong. She loves her Marvin very much. Yet, Lulu is struggling to remain happy and positive around Marvin's constant negativity and self doubt. These are two really good people who have been committed to each other for several years. I can't do anything for Lulu but offer love and a open ear, if she wants to talk or vent or complain. The same goes for Marvin, but he is less likely to open up to me about what he's going through. Emotionally, he's a little closed off.
So, I offer you my case study: Lulu and Marvin. Two people who love each other but are being wedged apart by depression. More than likely, they will be okay. Marvin will come out of his depression, as he's done before, and realize all of his perceived trust issues are simply that. Perceived. Not real. The product of his current state of mind.
I'm sending some positive energy out into the universe for them both. For some sunlight and happiness. As I've been saying quite a bit over the last few months in this blog, I firmly believe that love always wins. In the face of depression. Addiction. Adult financial or work problems. Teenage hormone problems. If love guides your actions, it will always win.
But don't take Saint Marty's word for it. Try it yourself. Send some love out into the world. See what happens.
No comments:
Post a Comment