The Deck - First Night Watch
(Carpenter standing before
vice-bench, and by the light of two lanterns busily filing the ivory
joist for the leg, which joist is firmly fixed in the vice. Slabs of
ivory, leather straps, pads, screws, and various tools of all sorts
lying about the bench. Forward, the red flame of the forge is seen,
where the blacksmith is at work.)
Drat the file, and drat the
bone! That is hard which should be soft, and that is soft which should
be hard. So we go, who file old jaws and shin bones. Let's try another.
Aye, now, this works better (sneezes). Halloa, this bone dust is
(sneezes)- why it's (sneezes)- yes it's (sneezes)- bless my soul, it
won't let me speak! This is what an old fellow gets now for working in
dead lumber. Saw a live tree, and you don't get this dust; amputate a
live bone, and you don't get it (sneezes). Come, come, you old Smut,
there, bear a hand, and let's have that ferrule and buckle-screw; I'll
be ready for them presently. Lucky now (sneezes) there's no knee-joint
to make; that might puzzle a little; but a mere shin-bone- why it's easy
as making hop-poles; only I should like to put a good finish on. Time,
time; if I but only had the time, I could turn him out as neat a leg now
as ever (sneezes) scraped to a lady in a parlor. Those buckskin legs
and calves of legs I've seen in shop windows wouldn't compare at all.
They soak water, they do; and of course get rheumatic, and have to be
doctored (sneezes) with washes and lotions, just like live legs. There;
before I saw it off, I must call his old Mogulship, and see whether the
length will be all right; too short, if anything, I guess. Ha! that's
the heel; we are in luck; here he comes, or it's somebody else, that's
certain.
AHAB (advancing) (During the ensuing scene, the carpenter continues sneezing at times)
Well, manmaker!
Just in time, sir. If the captain pleases, I will now mark the length. Let me measure, sir.
Measured
for a leg! good. Well, it's not the first time. About it! There; keep
thy finger on it. This is a cogent vice thou hast here, carpenter; let
me feel its grip once. So, so; it does pinch some.
Oh, sir, it will break bones- beware, beware!
No
fear; I like a good grip; I like to feel something in this slippery
world that can hold, man. What's Prometheus about there?- the
blacksmith, I mean- what's he about?
He must be forging the buckle-screw, sir, now.
Right. It's a partnership; he supplies the muscle part. He makes a fierce red flame there!
Aye, sir; he must have the white heat for his kind of fine work.
Um-m.
So he must. I do deem it now a most meaning thing, that that old Greek,
Prometheus, who made men, they say, should have been a blacksmith, and
animated them with fire; for what's made in fire must properly belong to
fire; and so hell's probable. How the soot flies! This must be the
remainder the Greek made the Africans of. Carpenter, when he's through
with that buckle, tell him to forge a pair of steel shoulder-blades;
there's a pedlar aboard with a crushing pack.
Sir?
Hold;
while Prometheus is about it, I'll order a complete man after a
desirable pattern. Imprimis, fifty feet high in his socks; then, chest
modelled after the Thames Tunnel then, legs with roots to 'em, to stay
in one place; then, arms three feet through the wrist; no heart at all,
brass forehead, and about a quarter of an acre of fine brains; and let
me see- shall I order eyes to see outwards? No, but put a sky-light on
top of his head to illuminate inwards. There, take the order, and away.
Now, what's he speaking about, and who's he speaking to, I should like know? Shall I keep standing here? (aside.)
'Tis but indifferent architecture to make a blind dome; here's one. No, no, no; I must have a lantern.
Ho, ho! That's it, hey? Here are two, sir; one will serve my turn.
What art thou thrusting that thief-catcher into my face for, man? Thrusted light is worse than presented pistols.
I thought, sir, that you spoke to carpenter.
Carpenter?
why that's- but no;- a very tidy, and, I may say, an extremely
gentlemanlike sort of business thou art in here, carpenter;- or would'st
thou rather work in clay?
Sir?- Clay? clay, sir? That's mud; we leave clay to ditchers, sir.
The fellow's impious! What art thou sneezing about?
Bone is rather dusty, sir.
Take the hint, then; and when thou art dead, never bury thyself under living people's noses.
Sir?- oh! ah!- I guess so;- yes- dear!
Look
ye, carpenter, I dare say thou callest thyself a right good workmanlike
workman, eh? Well, then, will it speak thoroughly well for thy work,
if, when I come to mount this leg thou makest, I shall nevertheless feel
another leg in the same identical place with it; that is, carpenter, my
old lost leg; the flesh and blood one, I mean. Canst thou not drive
that old Adam away?
Truly, sir, I begin to understand somewhat
now. Yes, I have heard something curious on that score; how that a
dismasted man never entirely loses the feeling of his old spar, but it
will be still pricking him at times. May I humbly ask if it be really
so, sir?
It is, man. Look, put thy live leg here in the place
where mine was; so, now, here is only one distinct leg to the eye, yet
two to the soul. Where thou feelest tingling life; there, exactly there,
there to a hair, do I. Is't a riddle?
I should humbly call it a poser, sir.
Hist,
then. How dost thou know that some entire, living, thinking thing may
not be invisibly and uninterpenetratingly standing precisely where thou
now standest; aye, and standing there in thy spite? In thy most solitary
hours, then, dost thou not fear eavesdroppers? Hold, don't speak! And
if I still feel the smart of my crushed leg, though it be now so long
dissolved; then, why mayst not thou, carpenter, feel the fiery pains of
hell for ever, and without a body? Hah!
Good Lord! Truly, sir, if it comes to that, I must calculate over again; I think I didn't carry a small figure, sir.
Look ye, pudding-heads should never grant premises.- How long before the leg is done?
Perhaps an hour, sir.
Bungle
away at it then, and bring it to me (turns to go). Oh, Life. Here I am,
proud as Greek god, and yet standing debtor to this blockhead for a
bone to stand on! Cursed be that mortal inter-indebtedness which will
not do away with ledgers. I would be free as air; and I'm down in the
whole world's books. I am so rich, I could have given bid for bid with
the wealthiest Praetorians at the auction of the Roman empire (which was
the world's); and yet I owe for the flesh in the tongue I brag with. By
heavens! I'll get a crucible, and into it, and dissolve myself down to
one small, compendious vertebra. So.
CARPENTER (resuming work).
Well,
well, well! Stubb knows him best of all, and Stubb always says he's
queer; says nothing but that one sufficient little word queer; he's
queer, says Stubb; he's queer- queer, queer; and keeps dinning it into
Mr. Starbuck all the time- queer- sir- queer, queer, very queer. And
here's his leg. Yes, now that I think of it, here's his bed-fellow! has a
stick of whale's jaw-bone for a wife! And this is his leg; he'll stand
on this. What was that now about one leg standing in three places, and
all three places standing in one hell- how was that? Oh! I don't wonder
he looked so scornful at me! I'm a sort of strange-thoughted sometimes,
they say; but that's only haphazard-like. Then, a short, little old body
like me, should never undertake to wade out into deep water with tall,
heron-built captains; the water chucks you under the chin pretty quick,
and there's a great cry for life-boats. And here's the heron's leg! long
and slim, sure enough! Now, for most folks one pair of legs lasts a
lifetime, and that must be because they use them mercifully, as a
tender-hearted old lady uses her roly-poly old coach-horses. But Ahab;
oh he's a hard driver. Look, driven one leg to death, and spavined the
other for life, and now wears out bone legs by the cord. Halloa, there,
you Smut! bear a hand there with those screws, and let's finish it
before the resurrection fellow comes a-calling with his horn for all
legs, true or false, as brewery men go round collecting old beer
barrels, to fill 'em up again. What a leg this is! It looks like a real
live leg, filed down to nothing but the core; he'll be standing on this
to-morrow; he'll be taking altitudes on it. Halloa! I almost forgot the
little oval slate, smoothed ivory, where he figures up the latitude. So,
so; chisel, file, and sand-paper, now!
Here I sit at the end of the day, reflecting on another chapter of Moby-Dick. This one features a new character--the carpenter of the Pequod, who has been tasked by Ahab to carve a new leg for him out of whale bone. This chapter reads like a scene from a play. Two roles--Carpenter and Ahab. One man is comic relief; the other, wrestling with phantoms from the past. He feels them, like dead nerve endings still sparking in his skin.
I think we all are a little haunted in our lives. By people. By experience. By loss. By love. We go through our days, hearing those ghosts in our ears, whispering. Today, I went to a doctor's appointment, mostly to discuss my continuing problems with being dizzy and lightheaded. It has been a continuing problem since my bout with vertigo in July.
My medical provider is a kind, compassionate person. She started asking me questions, and I started talking about all kinds of phantoms--vertigo, depression, and fears. Before I knew it, I had laid bare myself. I felt like an open wound. Totally exposed to a person who was simply there to help me feel better. A carpenter, if you will, to make a new leg for me.
She smiled and nodded. After she had listened, asked more questions, we came up with a game plan. It involves taking blood pressures for a week and then having another appointment. Right now, it's about finding out what is NOT bothering me. Ruling out phantoms. I'm relaxed after this conversation. Less stressed.
One of the ghosts that has been banging around in my head, rattling chains, is my sister who died of lymphoma of the brain. Since most of my problems seem to be focused inside my head, I've realized that I've been harboring this fear that I may . . . be . . . Well, I don't think I have to finish that thought. You get the idea.
Ghosts have a way of showing up in the middle of the night when you're trying to sleep. They aren't conducive to rest or relaxation. They shiver their sheets, rattle their voices to remind you that you're mortal. Poet Marie Howe says, "Poetry holds the knowledge that we are alive and that we're going to die."
Saint Marty is stuck in a poem right now, hovering between those two poles.
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