In obedience to a sign from Ahab, Starbuck was now pulling obliquely
across Stubb's bow; and when for a minute or so the two boats were
pretty near to each other, Stubb hailed the mate.
"Mr. Starbuck! larboard boat there, ahoy! a word with ye, sir, if ye please!"
"Halloa!"
returned Starbuck, turning round not a single inch as he spoke; still
earnestly but whisperingly urging his crew; his face set like a flint
from Stubb's.
"What think ye of those yellow boys, sir!
"Smuggled
on board, somehow, before the ship sailed. (Strong, strong, boys!)" in a
whisper to his crew, then speaking out loud again: "A sad business, Mr.
Stubb! (seethe her, seethe her, my lads!) but never mind, Mr. Stubb,
all for the best. Let all your crew pull strong, come what will.
(Spring, my men, spring!) There's hogsheads of sperm ahead, Mr. Stubb,
and that's what ye came for. (Pull, my boys!) Sperm, sperm's the play!
This at least is duty; duty and profit hand in hand."
"Aye, aye, I
thought as much," soliloquized Stubb, when the boats diverged, "as soon
as I clapt eye on 'em, I thought so. Aye, and that's what he went into
the after hold for, so often, as Dough-Boy long suspected. They were
hidden down there. The White Whale's at the bottom of it. Well, well, so
be it! Can't be helped! All right! Give way men! It ain't the White
Whale to-day! Give way!"
Now the advent of these outlandish
strangers at such a critical instant as the lowering of the boats from
the deck, this had not unreasonably awakened a sort of superstitious
amazement in some of the ship's company; but Archy's fancied discovery
having some time previous got abroad among them, though indeed not
credited then, this had in some small measure prepared them for the
event. It took off the extreme edge of their wonder; and so what with
all this and Stubb's confident way of accounting for their appearance,
they were for the time freed from superstitious surmisings; though the
affair still left abundant room for all manner of wild conjectures as to
dark Ahab's precise agency in the matter from the beginning. For me, I
silently recalled the mysterious shadows I had seen creeping on board
the Pequod during the dim Nantucket dawn, as well as the enigmatical
hintings of the unaccountable Elijah.
Meantime, Ahab, out of
hearing of his officers, having sided the furthest to windward, was
still ranging ahead of the other boats; a circumstance bespeaking how
potent a crew was pulling him. Those tiger yellow creatures of his
seemed all steel and whalebone; like five trip-hammers they rose and
fell with regular strokes of strength, which periodically started the
boat along the water like a horizontal burst boiler out of a Mississippi
steamer. As for Fedallah, who was seen pulling the harpooneer oar, he
had thrown aside his black jacket, and displayed his naked chest with
the whole part of his body above the gunwale, clearly cut against the
alternating depressions of the watery horizon; while at the other end of
the boat Ahab, with one arm, like a fencer's, thrown half backward into
the air, as if to counterbalance any tendency to trip; Ahab was seen
steadily managing his steering oar as in a thousand boat lowerings ere
the White Whale had torn him. All at once the outstretched arm gave a
peculiar motion and then remained fixed, while the boat's five oars were
seen simultaneously peaked. Boat and crew sat motionless on the sea.
Instantly the three spread boats in the rear paused on their way. The
whales had irregularly settled bodily down into the blue, thus giving no
distantly discernible token of the movement, though from his closer
vicinity Ahab had observed it.
"Every man look out along his oars!" cried Starbuck. "Thou, Queequeg, stand up!"
Nimbly
springing up on the triangular raised box in the bow, the savage stood
erect there, and with intensely eager eyes gazed off towards the spot
where the chase had last been descried. Likewise upon the extreme stern
of the boat where it was also triangularly platformed level with the
gunwale, Starbuck himself was seen coolly and adroitly balancing himself
to the jerking tossings of his chip of a craft, and silently eyeing the
vast blue eye of the sea.
Not very far distant Flask's boat was
also lying breathlessly still; its commander recklessly standing upon
the top of the loggerhead, a stout sort of post rooted in the keel, and
rising some two feet above the level of the stern platform. It is used
for catching turns with the whale line. Its top is not more spacious
than the palm of a man's hand, and standing upon such a base as that,
Flask seemed perched at the mast-head of some ship which had sunk to all
but her trucks. But little King-Post was small and short, and at the
same time little King-Post was full of a large and tall ambition, so
that this logger head stand-point of his did by no means satisfy
King-Post.
Something bad is about to happen. All the boats have stopped moving. The pod of sperm whales have disappeared from sight. These eleven paragraphs end with a held breath. Even Ahab seems wary. They are surrounded by the "vast blue eye of the sea." Underneath that eye, anything could be swimming. Danger seems not just a possibility, but definite.
Well, it has happened again in the United States. Another school shooting, this time at a high school in Santa Fe, Texas. Ten people dead (mostly students), and ten people wounded. At this point, school shootings are not just possibilities in my country. They are definite. Parkland was not the last, and Santa Fe will not be the last. Beneath the vast blue eye of the United States of America, there is danger.
I'm not going to lay this all at the feet of the Republicans currently in power in Washington, D. C., although they are the ones that could clearly have done something to prevent another mass shooting after Parkland. No, this goes deeper than political affiliations. Gun violence is embedded in the psyche of this country so that the mere suggestion of sensible gun laws has people up in arms, literally.
I come from a gun-owning family. My father hunted. All my brothers (and some of my sisters) hunt. I have nothing against responsible gun owners. However, the problem isn't the fact that responsible gun owners are going rogue and killing young people. The problem is that automatic weapons are so easy to acquire. That American society glorifies violence. That we are governed by men and women who stay in power because they accept a lot of money from people who make guns.
When automobiles became common in the United States, there weren't any seat belts in them. The glass used in windshields shattered into sharp knives and splinters of glass. If a person got in a car accident at even a moderate rate of speed, he or she would end up dead.
Do you know what the government did about that? It funded scientific studies to determine how to improve automobile safety and decrease the number of automobile injuries and deaths. It didn't take decades. In a few years, seat belts were a requirement in cars and trucks. Windshields were made with a different kind of glass. Nowadays, airbags are standard.
Politicians got together. Saw that a lot of people were dying. And they made changes, despite pressure from automakers, to protect the American people. Because that was the right thing to do.
So, my question is simple: why is it so hard to do the same thing for guns?
If you're a gun owner reading this post and getting angry, take a deep breath. Google the pictures of the kids who died today in Santa Fe. Google the pictures of the kids who died in Parkland. Sandy Hook. Columbine. Virginia Tech. Las Vegas. I could go on and on. Look at those faces. Think about the families of those people. Parents. Spouses. Brothers. Sisters. Children.
All of those people didn't have to die.
Putting more guns on the street, in schools, isn't the solution. That's like putting more unsafe automobiles on the road and saying that will reduce traffic death and injuries. It doesn't make sense. Cars needed seat belts and safer windshields and airbags. The United States needs REAL gun legislation to stop school shootings.
If the leaders in Washington, D. C., aren't willing to do that, then we need different leaders.
I am thankful tonight that my kids are safe at home, but, every time my wife drops them off at school in the morning, there is a little, uneasy part of my mind that stays on alert all day long. My daughter has expressed the same kind of worry to me, as well. That makes me incredibly angry and sad.
Nothing is going to change because of the Santa Fe school shooting. There's going to be another one in a month or a week or on Monday. I guarantee that.
When the Parkland generation of kids turns 18 and starts exercising its Constitutional right to choose who governs this country, I hope they do a better job than my generation has, because we have really fucked things up.
Saint Marty doesn't send his thoughts and prayers to the victims and their families in Santa Fe. He's going to vote this November, and he's going to think about the faces of all those young people when he's in the ballot box.
Poet...Musician...Thinker...Blogger...Teacher...Husband...Father...I'm not perfect, but I try!
Showing posts with label Las Vegas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Las Vegas. Show all posts
Friday, May 18, 2018
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
January 23: Bleed Afresh, Kentucky School Shooting, No Sense
In the same New Bedford there stands a Whaleman's Chapel, and few are
the moody fishermen, shortly bound for the Indian Ocean or Pacific, who
fail to make a Sunday visit to the spot. I am sure that I did not.
Returning from my first morning stroll, I again sallied out upon this special errand. The sky had changed from clear, sunny cold, to driving sleet and mist. Wrapping myself in my shaggy jacket of the cloth called bearskin, I fought my way against the stubborn storm. Entering, I found a small scattered congregation of sailors, and sailors' wives and widows. A muffled silence reigned, only broken at times by the shrieks of the storm. Each silent worshipper seemed purposely sitting apart from the other, as if each silent grief were insular and incommunicable. The chaplain had not yet arrived; and there these silent islands of men and women sat steadfastly eyeing several marble tablets, with black borders, masoned into the wall on either side the pulpit. Three of them ran something like the following, but I do not pretend to quote:
SACRED TO THE MEMORY OF JOHN TALBOT, Who, at the age of eighteen, was lost overboard Near the Isle of Desolation, off Patagonia, November 1st, 1836. THIS TABLET Is erected to his Memory BY HIS SISTER.
SACRED TO THE MEMORY OF ROBERT LONG, WILLIS ELLERY, NATHAN COLEMAN, WALTER CANNY, SETH MACY, AND SAMUEL GLEIG, Forming one of the boats' crews OF THE SHIP ELIZA Who were towed out of sight by a Whale, On the Off-shore Ground in the PACIFIC, December 31st, 1839. THIS MARBLE Is here placed by their surviving SHIPMATES.
SACRED TO THE MEMORY OF The late CAPTAIN EZEKIEL HARDY, Who in the bows of his boat was killed by a Sperm Whale on the coast of Japan, August 3d, 1833. THIS TABLET Is erected to his Memory BY HIS WIDOW.
Shaking off the sleet from my ice-glazed hat and jacket, I seated myself near the door, and turning sideways was surprised to see Queequeg near me. Affected by the solemnity of the scene, there was a wondering gaze of incredulous curiosity in his countenance. This savage was the only person present who seemed to notice my entrance; because he was the only one who could not read, and, therefore, was not reading those frigid inscriptions on the wall. Whether any of the relatives of the seamen whose names appeared there were now among the congregation, I knew not; but so many are the unrecorded accidents in the fishery, and so plainly did several women present wear the countenance if not the trappings of some unceasing grief, that I feel sure that here before me were assembled those, in whose unhealing hearts the sight of those bleak tablets sympathetically caused the old wounds to bleed afresh.
I find myself a little weary this evening. Got up at 4:30 this morning to shovel out my car. It was buried under about a foot-and-a-half of thick, wet snow, thanks to the city snowplows. It took a good 45 minutes to dig it out. And then it took another 40 minutes to drive to work. Three cars in the ditch and one nasty-looking accident later, I was sitting at my desk in the medical office.
Half-way through the day, a coworker told me about the school shooting that happened today in Kentucky. Two fifteen-year-old students killed. Seventeen other people injured, including a special needs student. I haven't been watching or listening to the news today, so I haven't really heard many of the details.
As most of you know, I am not a fan of guns. I don't follow the logic of "solving" the gun problems in the United States by allowing more people to have guns. It makes no sense. And, again, there is going to be the normal dog-and-pony show, with politicians saying things like "Our prayers are with the victims' families" and "We shouldn't bring politics into this tragedy."
Two young lives gone. In comparison to other recent shootings, that figure is low. The jaded--or numb--will hardly pay attention to this day. It isn't a Columbine or a Las Vegas or Virginia Tech. That's the sad thing. Nothing is going to change. In another day or week or month, this is all going to happen again.
Read that passage above. Ishmael going to the Whaleman's Chapel, being surrounded by memorials to those who've lost their lives at sea, widows and grieving family and friends. As Melville writes, there is unceasing grief, unhealing wounds. Reminders that bring about fresh bleeding in broken hearts.
That is what every person in that school in Kentucky today is going to have to endure. All for the sake of a political ideal that really should have gone the way of the Dodo a very long time ago. Once again, every person in Washington, D. C., who has voted or lobbied against responsible gun legislation has to answer for this--grieving families, wounded lives, two more headstones.
Saint Marty is tired of writing posts like this.
Returning from my first morning stroll, I again sallied out upon this special errand. The sky had changed from clear, sunny cold, to driving sleet and mist. Wrapping myself in my shaggy jacket of the cloth called bearskin, I fought my way against the stubborn storm. Entering, I found a small scattered congregation of sailors, and sailors' wives and widows. A muffled silence reigned, only broken at times by the shrieks of the storm. Each silent worshipper seemed purposely sitting apart from the other, as if each silent grief were insular and incommunicable. The chaplain had not yet arrived; and there these silent islands of men and women sat steadfastly eyeing several marble tablets, with black borders, masoned into the wall on either side the pulpit. Three of them ran something like the following, but I do not pretend to quote:
SACRED TO THE MEMORY OF JOHN TALBOT, Who, at the age of eighteen, was lost overboard Near the Isle of Desolation, off Patagonia, November 1st, 1836. THIS TABLET Is erected to his Memory BY HIS SISTER.
SACRED TO THE MEMORY OF ROBERT LONG, WILLIS ELLERY, NATHAN COLEMAN, WALTER CANNY, SETH MACY, AND SAMUEL GLEIG, Forming one of the boats' crews OF THE SHIP ELIZA Who were towed out of sight by a Whale, On the Off-shore Ground in the PACIFIC, December 31st, 1839. THIS MARBLE Is here placed by their surviving SHIPMATES.
SACRED TO THE MEMORY OF The late CAPTAIN EZEKIEL HARDY, Who in the bows of his boat was killed by a Sperm Whale on the coast of Japan, August 3d, 1833. THIS TABLET Is erected to his Memory BY HIS WIDOW.
Shaking off the sleet from my ice-glazed hat and jacket, I seated myself near the door, and turning sideways was surprised to see Queequeg near me. Affected by the solemnity of the scene, there was a wondering gaze of incredulous curiosity in his countenance. This savage was the only person present who seemed to notice my entrance; because he was the only one who could not read, and, therefore, was not reading those frigid inscriptions on the wall. Whether any of the relatives of the seamen whose names appeared there were now among the congregation, I knew not; but so many are the unrecorded accidents in the fishery, and so plainly did several women present wear the countenance if not the trappings of some unceasing grief, that I feel sure that here before me were assembled those, in whose unhealing hearts the sight of those bleak tablets sympathetically caused the old wounds to bleed afresh.
I find myself a little weary this evening. Got up at 4:30 this morning to shovel out my car. It was buried under about a foot-and-a-half of thick, wet snow, thanks to the city snowplows. It took a good 45 minutes to dig it out. And then it took another 40 minutes to drive to work. Three cars in the ditch and one nasty-looking accident later, I was sitting at my desk in the medical office.
Half-way through the day, a coworker told me about the school shooting that happened today in Kentucky. Two fifteen-year-old students killed. Seventeen other people injured, including a special needs student. I haven't been watching or listening to the news today, so I haven't really heard many of the details.
As most of you know, I am not a fan of guns. I don't follow the logic of "solving" the gun problems in the United States by allowing more people to have guns. It makes no sense. And, again, there is going to be the normal dog-and-pony show, with politicians saying things like "Our prayers are with the victims' families" and "We shouldn't bring politics into this tragedy."
Two young lives gone. In comparison to other recent shootings, that figure is low. The jaded--or numb--will hardly pay attention to this day. It isn't a Columbine or a Las Vegas or Virginia Tech. That's the sad thing. Nothing is going to change. In another day or week or month, this is all going to happen again.
Read that passage above. Ishmael going to the Whaleman's Chapel, being surrounded by memorials to those who've lost their lives at sea, widows and grieving family and friends. As Melville writes, there is unceasing grief, unhealing wounds. Reminders that bring about fresh bleeding in broken hearts.
That is what every person in that school in Kentucky today is going to have to endure. All for the sake of a political ideal that really should have gone the way of the Dodo a very long time ago. Once again, every person in Washington, D. C., who has voted or lobbied against responsible gun legislation has to answer for this--grieving families, wounded lives, two more headstones.
Saint Marty is tired of writing posts like this.
Wednesday, October 4, 2017
October 4: Deadliest Mass Shooting, Jameson Fitzpatrick, "A Poem for Pulse"
Up until a few days ago, the Pulse nightclub massacre in Florida, which happened a little over a year ago, was the deadliest mass shooting in United States history. Now, Las Vegas holds that title. I'm sure, in a month, a year, two years, there will be another shooting, even deadlier.
Because nobody is willing to do anything to stop it.
Saint Marty has another poem for tonight about gun violence . . .
A Poem for Pulse
by: Jameson Fitzpatrick
Last night, I went to a gay bar
with a man I love a little.
After dinner, we had a drink.
We sat in the far-back of the big backyard
and he asked, What will we do when this place closes?
I don’t think it’s going anywhere any time soon, I said,
though the crowd was slow for a Saturday,
and he said—Yes, but one day. Where will we go?
He walked me the half-block home
and kissed me goodnight on my stoop—
properly: not too quick, close enough
our stomachs pressed together
in a second sort of kiss.
I live next to a bar that’s not a gay bar
—we just call those bars, I guess—
and because it is popular
and because I live on a busy street,
there are always people who aren’t queer people
on the sidewalk on weekend nights.
We just call those people, I guess.
They were there last night.
As I kissed this man I was aware of them watching
and of myself wondering whether or not they were just
people. But I didn’t let myself feel scared, I kissed him
exactly as I wanted to, as I would have without an audience,
because I decided many years ago to refuse this fear—
an act of resistance. I left
the idea of hate out on the stoop and went inside,
to sleep, early and drunk and happy.
While I slept, a man went to a gay club
with two guns and killed fifty people. At least.
Today in an interview, his father said he had been disturbed
by the sight of two men kissing recently.
What a strange power to be cursed with,
for the proof of our desire to move men to violence.
What’s a single kiss? I’ve had kisses
no one has ever known about, so many
kisses without consequence—
but there is a place you can’t outrun,
whoever you are.
There will be a time when.
It might be a bullet, suddenly.
The sound of it. Many.
One man, two guns, fifty dead—
Two men kissing. Last night
is what I can’t get away from, imagining it, them,
the people there to dance and laugh and drink,
who didn’t believe they’d die, who couldn’t have.
How else can you have a good time?
How else can you live?
There must have been two men kissing
for the first time last night, and for the last,
and two women, too, and two people who were neither.
Brown people mostly, which cannot be a coincidence in this country
which is a racist country, which is gun country.
Today I’m thinking of the Bernie Boston photograph
Flower Power, of the Vietnam protestor placing carnations
in the rifles of the National Guard,
and wishing for a gesture as queer and simple.
The protester in the photo was gay, you know,
he went by Hibiscus and died of AIDS,
which I am also thinking about today because
(the government’s response to) AIDS was a hate crime.
Reagan was a terrorist.
Now we have a president who loves Us,
the big and imperfectly lettered Us, and here we are
getting kissed on stoops, getting married some of Us,
some of Us getting killed.
We must love one another whether or not we die.
Love can’t block a bullet
but it can’t be destroyed by one either,
and love is, for the most part, what makes Us Us—
in Orlando and in Brooklyn and in Kabul.
We will be everywhere, always;
there’s nowhere else for Us, or you, to go.
Anywhere you run in this world, love will be there to greet you.
Around any corner, there might be two men. Kissing.
Because nobody is willing to do anything to stop it.
Saint Marty has another poem for tonight about gun violence . . .
A Poem for Pulse
by: Jameson Fitzpatrick
Last night, I went to a gay bar
with a man I love a little.
After dinner, we had a drink.
We sat in the far-back of the big backyard
and he asked, What will we do when this place closes?
I don’t think it’s going anywhere any time soon, I said,
though the crowd was slow for a Saturday,
and he said—Yes, but one day. Where will we go?
He walked me the half-block home
and kissed me goodnight on my stoop—
properly: not too quick, close enough
our stomachs pressed together
in a second sort of kiss.
I live next to a bar that’s not a gay bar
—we just call those bars, I guess—
and because it is popular
and because I live on a busy street,
there are always people who aren’t queer people
on the sidewalk on weekend nights.
We just call those people, I guess.
They were there last night.
As I kissed this man I was aware of them watching
and of myself wondering whether or not they were just
people. But I didn’t let myself feel scared, I kissed him
exactly as I wanted to, as I would have without an audience,
because I decided many years ago to refuse this fear—
an act of resistance. I left
the idea of hate out on the stoop and went inside,
to sleep, early and drunk and happy.
While I slept, a man went to a gay club
with two guns and killed fifty people. At least.
Today in an interview, his father said he had been disturbed
by the sight of two men kissing recently.
What a strange power to be cursed with,
for the proof of our desire to move men to violence.
What’s a single kiss? I’ve had kisses
no one has ever known about, so many
kisses without consequence—
but there is a place you can’t outrun,
whoever you are.
There will be a time when.
It might be a bullet, suddenly.
The sound of it. Many.
One man, two guns, fifty dead—
Two men kissing. Last night
is what I can’t get away from, imagining it, them,
the people there to dance and laugh and drink,
who didn’t believe they’d die, who couldn’t have.
How else can you have a good time?
How else can you live?
There must have been two men kissing
for the first time last night, and for the last,
and two women, too, and two people who were neither.
Brown people mostly, which cannot be a coincidence in this country
which is a racist country, which is gun country.
Today I’m thinking of the Bernie Boston photograph
Flower Power, of the Vietnam protestor placing carnations
in the rifles of the National Guard,
and wishing for a gesture as queer and simple.
The protester in the photo was gay, you know,
he went by Hibiscus and died of AIDS,
which I am also thinking about today because
(the government’s response to) AIDS was a hate crime.
Reagan was a terrorist.
Now we have a president who loves Us,
the big and imperfectly lettered Us, and here we are
getting kissed on stoops, getting married some of Us,
some of Us getting killed.
We must love one another whether or not we die.
Love can’t block a bullet
but it can’t be destroyed by one either,
and love is, for the most part, what makes Us Us—
in Orlando and in Brooklyn and in Kabul.
We will be everywhere, always;
there’s nowhere else for Us, or you, to go.
Anywhere you run in this world, love will be there to greet you.
Around any corner, there might be two men. Kissing.
Friday, July 24, 2015
July 24: Funeral, Dave Memorial Service, Dave Fairy Tail, Siv Cedering, "The Angel of Death"
They buried his son on Christmas Eve morning, 1967, out in Long Island, his marker a simple Celtic cross. The burial was covered by the press, despite efforts to maintain privacy. A lot of important people came, few whom Ives knew. Zoom-lensed cameras captured the scene, and, in an unfortunate gaffe, they published a picture of Celeste, Robert's former girlfriend, who had fallen apart and kept her distance from the family until the funeral, being held in Ives' arms, and identified her as his daughter.
Funerals are strange occasions. Ives is surrounded by strangers, political figures and local celebrities who attend the service because of the circumstances of Robert's death--young man, soon to enter the seminary, gunned down by a Hispanic youth on the steps of a church. Sort of like governors, senators, and U. S. Presidents showing up for memorial services for victims of school shootings or terrorist bombings or hurricanes. Funerals are a mixture of grief and celebration, tears and laughter, story-telling and preaching.
This afternoon, I went to the memorial service of a friend of mine. Dave died from pancreatic cancer in November in Las Vegas, but his family decided to have his funeral this summer, when the days are long and green in the Upper Peninsula. Dave was a musician, among other things. He could play any instrument and harmonize on any song.
I've known Dave for a long time. He was my daughter's piano teacher, and, for the last few years, he played bass guitar in the church band with me. Before that, I acted in plays with Dave. A recovering alcoholic, Dave was 21 years sober when he died. He attended AA meetings daily, sometimes more. He had a deep love of God. A lot of people call God their friend. I think Dave had breakfast with God every morning, surrendering his will to His will.
I am proud to be able to have called Dave my friend.
Once upon a time, a minstrel named Dave traveled the kingdom, spreading music and love everywhere he went. When they heard Dave strumming his guitar, people flocked to the town square to listen to him sing and joke.
One day, Dave got really sick. He knew he didn't have long to live. So he decided to perform one last time. On the appointed day, crowds gathered to hear Dave's final concert. But Dave didn't make it to the stage.
The night before, Dave got on a boat and sailed for the South Pacific, where he died under a palm tree, watching the locals harvest breadfruit and roast pig.
Moral of the story: always leave 'em wanting more. That's what Dave did.
And Saint Marty lived happily ever after.
The Angel of Death
by: Siv Cedering
Because she wanted me, I slipped out of my skin. I thought it would fall like unnecessary clothing in the corner, by the chair, but it was my skin that went to her, like a beige trench coat flying through the air.
Somewhere near the flue of the fireplace or beside the open window, she waited, calling me, and the hairs of my arms lifted their small antennas and listened. Tired of holding the body in place all these years, the skin loose, my empty hands flapping like gloves. Death must be something to hold on to.
In my nakedness, I stood there, white like a sprout is white before it reaches the air. Small white breasts, short white hair, white fringes of lashes around my colorless eyes. And skinless I could perceive all the small angels in things: dancing on the head of a pin, in the leg of a table, in the arm of the chair. Even in the air there were tiny galaxies spinning, as if it were Midsummer, and the dance had started. Then something stirred at the base of my spine. A warm coating started to spread, licking its long tongue over my surfaces, the elbow, the hip, the raspberry of my nipple, until each pore, mole, curve and mark was covered. Colors came back. The earlobes hung like drops from my ears, asleep, not listening.
But the angel of death is somewhere, watering my flowers, reading over my shoulder, counting the days of the moon. She tells me that invisible things exist: angels, molecules, the green horses of the grass.
Funerals are strange occasions. Ives is surrounded by strangers, political figures and local celebrities who attend the service because of the circumstances of Robert's death--young man, soon to enter the seminary, gunned down by a Hispanic youth on the steps of a church. Sort of like governors, senators, and U. S. Presidents showing up for memorial services for victims of school shootings or terrorist bombings or hurricanes. Funerals are a mixture of grief and celebration, tears and laughter, story-telling and preaching.
This afternoon, I went to the memorial service of a friend of mine. Dave died from pancreatic cancer in November in Las Vegas, but his family decided to have his funeral this summer, when the days are long and green in the Upper Peninsula. Dave was a musician, among other things. He could play any instrument and harmonize on any song.
I've known Dave for a long time. He was my daughter's piano teacher, and, for the last few years, he played bass guitar in the church band with me. Before that, I acted in plays with Dave. A recovering alcoholic, Dave was 21 years sober when he died. He attended AA meetings daily, sometimes more. He had a deep love of God. A lot of people call God their friend. I think Dave had breakfast with God every morning, surrendering his will to His will.
I am proud to be able to have called Dave my friend.
Once upon a time, a minstrel named Dave traveled the kingdom, spreading music and love everywhere he went. When they heard Dave strumming his guitar, people flocked to the town square to listen to him sing and joke.
One day, Dave got really sick. He knew he didn't have long to live. So he decided to perform one last time. On the appointed day, crowds gathered to hear Dave's final concert. But Dave didn't make it to the stage.
The night before, Dave got on a boat and sailed for the South Pacific, where he died under a palm tree, watching the locals harvest breadfruit and roast pig.
Moral of the story: always leave 'em wanting more. That's what Dave did.
And Saint Marty lived happily ever after.
The Angel of Death
by: Siv Cedering
Because she wanted me, I slipped out of my skin. I thought it would fall like unnecessary clothing in the corner, by the chair, but it was my skin that went to her, like a beige trench coat flying through the air.
Somewhere near the flue of the fireplace or beside the open window, she waited, calling me, and the hairs of my arms lifted their small antennas and listened. Tired of holding the body in place all these years, the skin loose, my empty hands flapping like gloves. Death must be something to hold on to.
In my nakedness, I stood there, white like a sprout is white before it reaches the air. Small white breasts, short white hair, white fringes of lashes around my colorless eyes. And skinless I could perceive all the small angels in things: dancing on the head of a pin, in the leg of a table, in the arm of the chair. Even in the air there were tiny galaxies spinning, as if it were Midsummer, and the dance had started. Then something stirred at the base of my spine. A warm coating started to spread, licking its long tongue over my surfaces, the elbow, the hip, the raspberry of my nipple, until each pore, mole, curve and mark was covered. Colors came back. The earlobes hung like drops from my ears, asleep, not listening.
But the angel of death is somewhere, watering my flowers, reading over my shoulder, counting the days of the moon. She tells me that invisible things exist: angels, molecules, the green horses of the grass.
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| Dave and his beloved granddaughter |
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