June 13: Getting the Blackness, Kind and Humble, Three Million Dollars

The morning sun hurts Santiago's eyes . . . 

The sun was two hours higher now and it did not hurt his eyes so much to look into the east. There were only three boats in sight now and they showed very low and far inshore.

All my life the early sun has hurt my eyes, he thought. Yet they are still good. In the evening I can look straight into it without getting the blackness. It has more force in the evening too. But in the morning it is painful.

It seems as though my days have settled down since the end of the school year.  I'm not worrying about phone calls from principals or superintendents all the time.  Not running from one crisis to another.  I may burn my eyes in the morning sun every once in a while, but I'm not in a constant state of soggy vision.  So, I guess I'm in a state of "not" at the moment.

This evening, I attended a workshop with a world-renowned violinist named Scott Flavin.  The workshop was about overcoming performance anxiety, and it was pretty intimate, with only a few other attendees.  We weren't afraid to open our mouths to express our anxieties and fears.  

At the end, one attendee spoke about her issues with bowing when she played.  Flavin had her stand up, and then he handed her his instrument and bow.  She didn't want to take the violin from him, but, eventually, with some coaxing, she did.  Then, he walked her through some bowing exercises.  It was amazing to watch.  Flavin was so kind and humble.

After the workshop was over, I asked Scott about his violin.  He told me it was made by a luthier who made each of his violins for God.  The violin was worth three million dollars.  The bow he was using was worth $300,000.  I wish I could remember the name of the luthier.  I think it was possibly del Gesu Guarneri.  At least, when I did some research when I got home, that's the name I came up with. 

Tonight, I was not going to participate in the workshop.  Another "not."  I had actually brought a book of poems to read.  My plan was simply to make sure Scott had everything he needed.  Troubleshoot, if problems arose.  I did not do that.  I did not read my book.  I did not troubleshoot.  

I took deep breaths.  Spent time with some wonderful people.  And listened to a famous musician play a violin made for God.

Not a bad night for Saint Marty.