June 7: Wild or Wicked Things, Perpetuate the Stereotype, "Practical Magic"

Santiago's thoughts about the sea . . . 

He always thought of the sea as la mar which is what people call her in Spanish when they love her. Sometimes those who love her say bad things of her but they are always said as though she were a woman. Some of the younger fishermen, those who used buoys as floats for their lines and had motorboats, bought when the shark livers had brought much money, spoke of her as el mar which is masculine. They spoke of her as a contestant or a place or even an enemy. But the old man always thought of her as feminine and as something that gave or withheld great favours, and if she did wild or wicked things it was because she could not help them. The moon affects her as it does a woman, he thought.

I enjoy Hemingway's little discussion of the feminine versus masculine here.  Of course, it's rife with subtle misogyny.  The sea as a woman, doing wild and wicked things.  Hemingway didn't create that particular stereotype.  He's just perpetuating it.

I am going to perpetuate a stereotype with this post.  Tired father falling asleep on the couch while watching a movie.  My wife, daughter, son, and I went to my sister's house for dinner this evening.  She made ravioli and pasta, spaghetti sauce, and garlic bread.  For dessert, cheesecake.  It was delicious.  After the dishes were done, we played a game.  And it felt so good to have all of us together, eating and laughing and telling stories.

When I got home, I was so tired.  I got into my pajamas, started streaming Practical Magic, and immediately fell asleep.  Last week and weekend were long, and I don't think I've fully recovered from them.  So, I did what my father used to do.  Fall asleep in front of the TV.  My dad did it with a whiskey and 7-Up in his hand.  I did it with a bowl of kumquats next to me.

I learned my work ethic from my parents.  My father had a family of nine kids, a wife, and his mother.  Ours was a huge, busy house with lots of mouths to feed and lots of bodies to clothe.  I was fortunate.  Because I had five sisters between me and my brothers, I never had to suffer the indignity of hand-me-downs.  I don't ever recall feeling hungry or deprived as a child or adolescent.  We always had food on the table, and I always got eyeglasses and shoes and winter coats and school supplies when I needed them.  My father worked from dawn to dusk, sometimes later.  He loved plumbing.  Even after he retired, he still helped people out.  

My mother was his business partner, helping him with everything from scheduling service calls, sending out invoices, ordering supplies, and doing the monthly statements.  Plus, she managed a household that included a daughter with Down Syndrome.  She served as President of the Parents Advisory Council, helped parents with IEPs for their special needs children, and served on church committees.  She did all of that and still had full meals on the table every evening.

So, I learned that hard work is just part of life.  You might get knocked down every once in a while.  Face obstacles.  Struggle.  Yet, you still get up every morning and do your job, whether its plumbing, studenting, cooking, blogging, or teaching.

And, at the end of the day, you sit on the couch and maybe fall asleep while a Sandra Bullock movie plays on the television.  You become the stereotype because you love the people in your life.  And kumquats.

Saint Marty might sleep through Miss Congeniality tomorrow night.