Friday, May 22, 2015

May 22: Pay the Bills, Bills and More Bills, Froggy Fairy Tale

[Ives said,] "Yes, we'll go.  I'll pay for it, and then you tell me who'll pay the bills a year from now if something should happen to me."

Ives is using money as an excuse to avoid stepping outside of his world of grief, depression, and anger.  He has been wallowing for decades.  Annie, his wife, is trying to convince him to go on a trip to Europe, something they dreamed about before their son's death.  Now, I think Ives feels guilty about the idea of being happy with his son gone.

I don't use lack of money as an excuse to avoid life.  I simply don't have money.  No excuses.  This evening, when I got home, I found a very large bill that I wasn't expecting.  It kind of threw me off my game.  I was happy, looking forward to the long Memorial Day weekend.  Now, all I can think about is where I'm going to come up with the money to pay this bill.

I'm really tired of never having enough cash.  Each day, I hate looking through the mail.  It never brings good news.  Only more envelopes containing pieces or paper detailing how much money I owe.  It doesn't matter.  I usually can't pay them anyway.

If you can't tell, I'm a little stressed.  Even typing this post isn't giving me much pleasure.  After I'm done writing, I'm going to go home, clean up my living room, scrub the toilet, and then sit down and read that bill.  Over and over and over.

Once upon a time, a poor frog farmer named Kermit lived in a swamp.  Every morning, he pulled on his boots, grabbed a burlap sack, and waded into the marshy water, searching for frogs.

Kermit never made much money as a frog farmer.  He lived in the kingdom of Vegetaria.  Every citizen of Vegetaria was a practicing vegan.  Nobody was interested in buying Kermit's frog legs.

One night, after a long day of harvesting, Kermit came home with a sack of frogs.  As he sat down to eat a plateful of legs, he thought aloud, "Maybe I should start growing asparagus and parsnips instead of hunting frogs."  He took a bite of frog.  "Then, once I earned a little money, I could expand.  Tomatoes and carrots and bell peppers."  He chewed thoughtfully.  "Eventually, I could become the richest farmer in Vegetaria."  He swallowed.

A frog in his burlap sack croaked loudly.

Kermit looked down at his plate of frog legs.  "But I love me some frog meat."  And he finished eating his dinner and went to bed.

During the night, a hurricane blew through the swamp and wiped out the entire frog population.  Kermit never harvested frogs again.  He lived the rest of his life eating artichokes and tofu.

Kermit never got rich.  Never moved out of the swamp,  At the end of his life, he didn't have a penny to his name.  He died of gastrointestinal distress after consuming an entire box of apricots.

Moral of the story:  If given the choice between tofu and frog legs, go to a different restaurant.

And Saint Marty lived happily ever after.

It doesn't taste just like chicken

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