March 21: Sort of Funny, Stupid Laughs, Poetry Reading

The whole thing was sort of funny, in a way, if you thought about it, and all of a sudden I did something I shouldn't have.  I laughed.  And I have one of these very loud, stupid laughs.  I mean if I ever sat behind myself in a movie or something, I'd probably lean over and tell myself to please shut up.  It made old Sally madder than ever.

Holden does a lot of things to piss people off in The Catcher in the Rye.  In the above paragraph, he manages to offend his date.  He laughs in uncomfortable situations.  He has just told Sally that she gives him "a pain in the ass," and she is not reacting well to his constructive criticism.  That's why Holden is laughing.

I tend to be like Holden in stressful circumstances.  When I go out to my car at the end of a crappy day and I have a flat tire, or when I leave for work at 4:30 a.m. in a blizzard, I laugh, giggle, chortle, guffaw, snicker.  I probably look and sound like Norman registering Marion Crane into the Bates Motel.  It's about tension release in a situation over which I have no control.

Tonight, I'm giving a poetry reading at church.  Before Ash Wednesday, I sat down with the pastor and worked out the schedule for a series of Thursday night events during the Lenten season.  The first week was a concert by the church's praise band (a bust).  The second week, nothing happened (I was busy, the pastor was out-of-town).  The third week was a slide show and discussion of the pastor's recent trip to the Holy Land (a success--over twenty people attended).  The fourth week, a Christian comedy video (hilariously funny, but only two other people showed up).  The fifth week, tonight, is my poetry reading.  I'm not holding out too much hope.

That doesn't mean I won't enjoy myself.  I will have at least three or four people in the audience.  One of those people will be a colleague from the university.  The possibility of supreme embarrassment is huge.  If only three people attend, I will laugh, perhaps make a joke about trying the veal and tipping the waiter, and then read my poems.

However, I've enjoyed preparing for tonight.  Going through my poems, selecting what I'm going to read, talking to the musicians who are helping me out.  That's all been great fun.  Now comes the litmus test.  There are a two possible scenarios for this evening:

Poetry + Musicians - Audience = Embarrassed Laughter + Humiliation

or

Poetry + Musicians + Audience = Blessings + Grace

Stop by Mitchell United Methodist Church in Negaunee, Michigan, at 7 p.m. tonight.  Be a part of the equation.

Saint Marty will do his part to establish equilibrium.

Where's Sean Connery when I need him