November 28: God Bless You, Worries and Cares, Maya Angelou, "A Prayer for Thanksgiving," Confessions of Saint Marty

But it was Christmas, and so to restore a mood of holiday congeniality, Ives made a toast and declared, "To heck with our troubles, Tom.  To our friendship.  And as the Spaniards say, Salud!  Que Dios te bendiga!  May God bless you!"

Father Tom is one of Ives' oldest friends.  They meet at a restaurant for a pre-Christmas visit.  Ives is still struggling with the darkness of grief, unable to bring himself to forgive the man who killed his son decades earlier.  Yet, he lifts his glass, salutes Tom, and offers a blessing.

I am in a frenzy of end-of-semester grading and preparation.  Yesterday, I finished my Christmas essay, and I typed it up this morning.  Once I am done writing this post, I will dive into grading again.  It's a never-ending stack of papers and tests.  Tomorrow evening, my book club meets at my house.  That means I have to clean tonight.

Despite all of these worries and cares, like Ives, I want to lift my glass today (or in my case, Diet Coke) and say how thankful I am for all the readers of Saint Marty.  Some days, the only moments of sanity I have are when I am sitting with my laptop, blogging.  It's therapy.  It's writing practice.  It's my way of feeling connected with the world.

So, thank you all for being loyal disciples, especially through the dark times of this past year.

Saint Marty is humbled and grateful.

A Prayer for Thanksgiving

by:  Maya Angelou

Father, Mother, God
Thank you for your presence
During the hard and mean days.
For then we have you to lean upon.

Thank you for your presence
During the bright and sunny days
For then we can share that which we have
With those who have less.

And thank you for your presence
During the Holy Days, for then we are able
To celebrate you and our families
And our friends.

For those who have no voice,
We ask you to speak.
For those who feel unworthy,
We ask you to pour your love out
In waterfalls of tenderness.

For those who live in pain,
We ask you to bathe them
In the river of your healing.

For those who are lonely, we ask
You to keep them company.

For those who are depressed,
We ask you to shower upon them
The light of hope.

Dear Creator, You, the borderless
Sea of substance, we ask you to give to all the
World that which we need most — Peace.

Confessions of Saint Marty

June 19: The Only Reason, Worries, and Hits

"You know something?" I said.  "You're probably the only reason I'm in New York right now, or anywhere.  If you weren't around, I'd probably be someplace way the hell off.  In the woods or some goddam place.  You're the only reason I'm around, practically."

Holden pins all of his happiness on Sally with this statement.  Sally is a girl he's dated, off and on, for a while.  Obviously, Holden doesn't love Sally.  Only a few pages later, Holden tells her that she gives him a pain in the ass.  Their date doesn't end well, to say the least.

Holden is trying to find happiness in The Catcher in the Rye.  He's been sad for a while and spends most of his days fantasizing about people who will make him happy.  Jane is one of those fantasies--a troubled girl from his past who represents, in some way, a person Holden wants to save, like the children in the rye field.  Above all, Holden wants to preserve innocence.  He doesn't want his world wrecked by the worries and cares of the adult world.

I'm with Holden.  Since last Friday, I've had one piece of bad news after another from the adult world.  Today isn't any different.  As a good friend of mine says, life has been totally sucking socks for me.  I'm not a person who deals well with change.  Especially change that catches me by surprise.  The only kind of surprises I like go something like this:  "Congratulations!  You just won the Great Poem Poetry Prize.  Here's a check for $1,000."  Unfortunately, I've been getting these kinds of surprises:  "I'm sorry to inform you that, as of 12 p.m. yesterday, you owe the Internal Revenue Service $10,000 in back taxes and penalties."

I know that pinning my hopes and dreams on a person (like Holden does) isn't going to make my situation any better.  The English Department Head is not going to call and offer me a full-time professorship at the university this afternoon.  I know that pinning my hopes and dreams on a thing (like a poetry contest or new job) isn't any better.  I've tried medicating myself with Milky Ways and handfuls of M&Ms.  That worked until I realized I'd polished off a one-pound bag of candy and still had not solved any of my dilemmas.

I'm weary.  I'm weary of worrying.  I need to let go of all of these issues.  I'm not going to be able to do a damn thing about them, anyway.  All I'm succeeding in doing is losing sleep and eating badly.  Meanwhile, the hits of misfortune just keep on rolling in.

Saint Marty needs a vacation.  A long one.

These don't solve your problems, but they taste great with gin and tonic