Perhaps I should not have been a fisherman, he thought. But that was the thing that I was born for. I must surely remember to eat the tuna after it gets light.
Some time before daylight something took one of the baits that were behind him. He heard the stick break and the line begin to rush out over the gunwale of the skiff. In the darkness he loosened his sheath knife and taking all the strain of the fish on his left shoulder he leaned back and cut the line against the wood of the gunwale. Then he cut the other line closest to him and in the dark made the loose ends of the reserve coils fast. He worked skillfully with the one hand and put his foot on the coils to hold them as he drew his knots tight. Now he had six reserve coils of line. There were two from each bait he had severed and the two from the bait the fish had taken and they were all connected.
After it is light, he thought, I will work back to the forty-fathom bait and cut it away too and link up the reserve coils. I will have lost two hundred fathoms of good Catalan cordel and the hooks and leaders. That can be replaced. But who replaces this fish if I hook some fish and it cuts him off? I don't know what that fish was that took the bait just now. It could have been a marlin or a broadbill or a shark. I never felt him. I had to get rid of him too fast.
Aloud he said, "I wish I had the boy."
In certain instances, you have to rely on experience to know the right thing to do. That's what Santiago does in this passage. He knows that he has to cut those fishing lines in order to have a chance of landing the big fish, and he doesn't hesitate to use his sheath knife.
I believe in kindness. Forgiveness. As a lifelong Christian, it's what I grew up hearing in church, Sunday after Sunday. That doesn't mean that forgiveness is easy. It isn't. In fact, I would say that forgiving a person who has hurt you deeply seems impossible. It's so much easier to hold on to that hurt, nurse it, and let it grow until it literally controls your life.
Forgiveness takes practice. Like fishing, it can be learned. The first time is the hardest, obviously. But do it, over and over, and it doesn't matter what size fish it is. Marlin. Shark. Tuna. You will always be able to get it into the boat.
Of course, doing the exact opposite can also become habit. I've done that, as well. Held onto to angers and slights for years and years. I'm still holding on to some that have been with me so long that they've become a part of me. Another arm or leg. I'm not perfect.
Of course, I know that retaining such negative emotions doesn't really help anything. All it does is impact my psychological, emotional, and physical health. It makes me sick, in body, mind, and spirit. I try to maintain a good balance in my life. Most people who know me would probably describe me as a kind person. A loving person. What those people see is the product of hundreds of hours of therapy. I have learned that without forgiveness, I may lose people I love and end up in a blue funk that will last a lifetime.
Why am I saying all of this? It's all a part of the process of forgiveness. Because forgiveness is a process. A never-ending one. There are people in my life that I have to try to forgive on a daily basis. Some days I succeed, and some days I don't. Then, I wake up and start all over again.
If you are reading this post, and I have hurt you in any way ever, I'm sorry. Forgive me. If you are reading this post, and you have hurt me in some way, I forgive you. Repeat. And repeat. And repeat.
It's that simple.
Saint Marty's blessing for today: time spent this morning on the roof of the library, looking out on Lake Superior.
