Showing posts with label burdens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label burdens. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

May 4: Burdens, Nick Flynn, "Twenty-Pound Stone"

Everyone carries burdens, things that weigh them down.  Worry or guilt or need.  The last few nights, I've had trouble sleeping because of the changes that are about to occur in my life.  The semester is over, and my university paychecks are going to stop coming soon.  In a month, I will be starting my new job; that means a new work schedule with new responsibilities and new stress.  At the end of June, I will be teaching my first online course.  My daughter is taking driver's training this summer.

Those are a few of my burdens right now.  I could also talk about the fact that my daughter never puts her socks in the clothes hamper.  She also leaves her bed unmade all the time.  My son's medication is still not working properly; he threatens his sister's life with a toy sledgehammer on a daily basis.

Burdens come in all shapes and sizes.  Teenage daughters.  Grains of sand.  Dirty socks.  Pebbles.  Twenty-pound stones.

Saint Marty is going to have a glass of wine tonight.  Alcohol is not a coping mechanism.  It just makes burdens look like unicorns with pink horns.

Twenty-Pound Stone

by:  Nick Flynn

It nests in the hollow of my pelvis, I carry it with both hands, as if
offering my stomach, as if it were pulling me forward.

At night the sun leaks from it, it turns cold, I sleep with it
beside my head, I breathe for it.

Sometimes I dream of hammers.

I am hammering it back into sand, the sand we melt into glass,
the glass we blow into bottles.

This stone is fifteen green bottles with nothing inside.

It never bleeds, it never heals, it is a soup can left on the back shelf,
the label worn off.

It is the corner of a house, the beginning of a wall.

At night it changes shape, it lies on one side, casting jagged shadows.

It brightens where my tongue touches it.

Richard's eyes were this color, a pale fruit, honeydew.

When I swing it over my head I swear it could lift me.

If I jump from a bridge it would drag me down, the current couldn't
carry us, it has no lungs, no pockets of air.

If I could walk it to the center of a frozen pond & leave it,
in the spring it would be gone.

This is your burden on wine . . .

Sunday, April 3, 2011

April 3: Paying Bills, Psalm 26, More Snow

I think this psalm pretty much speaks for itself today.  I don't have a lot of time to type this evening.  I have bills to pay, a baby to bathe, papers to grade.  Just read the poem.  You'll understand.  I'm feeling a little overburdened today, have been since this morning.  I didn't accomplish half the stuff I wanted to accomplish this weekend.  As always.  And it's snowing again.  A lot.  I'm ready for spring, summer.  I'm ready for this semester to be over.

Saint Marty is feeling stressed.  Really stressed.  He's trying to find his happy place.  He really is.

Psalm 26:  Take My Burdens

Take my burdens, Lord.
Take my mortgage payment, water bill.
Car insurance due two days ago.
You can pay it online.  I'm sure
You have WiFi.  Take the essays
I have to grade.  They're about Dante's
The Inferno.  You probably have more
Insight than I about hell, anyway.
Just watch for comma splices, plagiarism.
My attic needs to be emptied out, Lord.
Old clothes, toys to Vincent de Paul,
The store not the saint.  Let's talk about
Painting my kitchen, too.  Strip wallpaper,
Tear out woodpanelling.  You may have
To drywall a little.  I'd prefer a color
That reminds me of summer, light green,
Oak and maple leaves at dawn.
You know the shade.  I trust You.
Take my burdens, Lord.
If You could drive tomorrow morning
That would be great.  Snow's coming, patches
Of black ice, snow plows and sanders
In pitch dark.  Your eyes are better,
Plus You can keep deer out of our way.
Or You could just hold off on snow,
Take those clouds, overstuffed
Laundry bags, send them to cleaners
In a different place, New York or Ontario,
Bermuda or Cuba, if it wouldn't screw up
Things too much, global warming, ozone
Depletion, all that.  You know what's best.
Take my burdens, Lord.
I suppose I should say something
About Afghanistan, Libya, Iraq, ask
For peace in the world, people of all
Colors and religions to exist together
In harmony, really close harmony.
Peter, Paul, and Mary, Kingston Trio
Harmony, where you can't tell one voice
From the other, like some Tibetan monks
Can vibrate their vocal chords, create
Two voices in their throats at the same time.
Take all my burdens, Lord.
I'll leave them piled on my front step, the way
My grandmother left milk bottles
On her stoop in the old days
For the milkman she never saw. 
Take my burdens, milkman