Showing posts with label bear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bear. Show all posts

Friday, March 11, 2022

March 11: Nothing is Easy, "Kalevala," Writing a Poem

Santiago prepares for the coming battle . . . 

He let his hand dry in the air then grasped the line with it and eased himself as much as he could and allowed himself to be pulled forward against the wood so that the boat took the strain as much, or more, than he did.

I'm learning how to do it, he thought. This part of it anyway. Then too, remember he hasn't eaten since he took the bait and he is huge and needs much food. I have eaten the whole bonito. Tomorrow I will eat the dolphin. He called it dorado. Perhaps I should eat some of it when I clean it. It will be harder to eat than the bonito. But, then, nothing is easy.

Nothing is easy.  There's a lot of truth in that statement.  I have learned that sometimes even the simplest of tasks can be a struggle, especially if your body or mind is not cooperating.  Being diabetic, I experience occasional low blood sugars.  These episodes can be debilitating.  Your thoughts don't connect.  Your limbs don't work.  Even chewing and swallowing are sometimes impossible.  And afterward, it's as though your entire day (or night) becomes one long, muddy headache.

I've been dealing with these episodes since I was about 13 years old.  That's four of my son's lifetimes.  And I'm still standing and talking and writing.  That's pretty miraculous.

However, there are some things that do come easily.  In particular, writing has never been difficult for me.  Before I started work this morning, I set myself the task of writing a poem about a bear.  (This weekend, I am performing in Calumet, Michigan, on a radio variety show.  One of the themes we are highlighting in the episodes is the Finnish epic poem the Kalevala, which has a bear in it.)  For close to five hours, I wrote and rewrote.  Imagined and reimagined.  Shaped and reshaped.  

For my disciples who are not writers, what I have just described in the above paragraph probably sounds like being waterboarded for five hours.  For me, those five hours were pure pleasure.  I rarely give myself the opportunity just to write for an extended period of time.  However, I had an excuse.  I am going to get paid for this poetry-writing time.  It made me feel like a real writer.  (ERRATUM:  after I sent the poem to the producer of the show, she decided that there wasn't time in the episode for me to read it.  Oh, well.  I have a new poem.)

My point is that those five hours did not seem hard to me.  In fact, they gave me quite a bit of joy.  This evening, I had dinner and played games with my family for a couple hours.  More joy.  

It may be true that nothing is easy.  Life is hard work, broken up by periods of absolute pleasure, like writing a poem or playing Jackbox Party Games with your kids.  We all have big fish that pull our little boats this way and that.  The trick is to find ways to feed yourself when you're feeling hungry.

Saint Marty fed himself with poetry and time with his kids today.


How about helping someone I love get some joy:

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

September 16: Topmost Car, Niece, Prayer for Happiness

As they passed the Ferris wheel, Fern gazed up at it and wished she were in the topmost car with Henry Fussy at her side.

It's difficult to see children grow up sometimes.  Mrs. Arable certainly struggles with the idea of Fern being interested in Henry Fussy.  Simply letting her daughter wander off into the Fair without her makes Mrs. Arable a little weepy.  And the highlight of the Fair, for Fern, is not Wilbur's victory.  It's being stuck at the top of the Ferris wheel with Henry.


My niece got married this weekend.  Soon, she will be heading downstate with her new husband.  It's difficult to think of her as a grownup, let alone a married woman.  She's heading out into the world to carve out a new life, create a new family for herself.  Yet, like Mrs. Arable, I can't seem to get past the fact that she and her husband still seem so young.

I'm not worried about them.  They're both smart and resourceful.  And they are really in love.  I was talking with my five-year-old son last night, and he said to me, "She is going away now, and I won't see her any more, right?"  He was genuinely sad at the idea of my niece not being around any more.  I told him that he would see her at holidays and other special times, but it didn't really cheer him up.  He doesn't quite grasp the idea of separation.  His world isn't quite that big yet.

I know my son will adjust to my niece's new existence.  The next time he sees her, he may even refuse to give her a hug, because that's just the way little boys are.  Love is malleable.  He's going to take his feelings about my niece and mold them, like a lump of playdough, into something he understands.  A fish.  Bear.  Goblin.  Heart.

My prayer tonight is for my niece's happiness as she heads out into the world.  I pray that she will always know love and kindness.  That she will never feel want or hunger.  And that, when difficult times arise, she and her husband will know they are never alone.

This is Saint Marty's hope for her.

Home is where the heart is