April 28: Gruel, Change, New Cartoon

Quite satisfied, he closed his door, and locked himself in:  double-locked himself in, which was not his custom.  Thus secured against surprise, he took off his cravat; put on his dressing-gown and slippers, and his nightcap; and sat down before the fire to take his gruel.

Scrooge, above all else, is a creature of routine.  Aside from his one deviation from custom, I get the feeling that Scrooge has followed the same nightly office for a very long time.  Gruel.  There's probably nothing more uninteresting, bland, and watery.  Perfect for Scrooge's existence of non-surprise.

I have friends who embrace change and surprise the way I embraced my iPad when I got it for Christmas.  (For the record, I sat on the couch, hugging the iPad box, in a state of cosmic euphoria for almost half an hour.)  My good friend Wondertwin loves to remind me frequently, "Change is inevitable.  Change is good.  Change is the only constant in life."  To counter her litany, I usually say something like, "Yeah, well, so what?" 

Just because change happens, I don't have to embrace it or like it.  It may be argued that my attitude breeds unhappiness and stress in my life.  However, I would say that change breeds the unhappiness and stress, and I'm just reacting to it.  It's the chicken and egg question.  Which came first, the chicken or the egg, the change or the misery?  Change isn't always positive.

Another of my friends would tell me at this point in my anti-change diatribe that really it's all a matter of attitude.  I can choose to think of change as an adventure, a door opening.  Or I can choose to think of change as some form of divine punishment for the sins of my ancestors.  I bet you can guess which side of this fence I fall on.

Scrooge eats gruel.  He likes gruel.  He likes its greyness.  Its predictability.  Its sameness.

Saint Marty is a big fan of gruel, as well.

Confessions of Saint Marty

March 6: Light, Low Upon My Brow, Happiness



Anybody got a snuffer?

 "What!" exclaimed the Ghost, "would you so soon put out, with worldly hands, the light I give?  Is it not enough that you are one of those whose passions made this cap, and force me through whole trains of years to wear it low upon my brow!"

The Ghost of Christmas Past is a little put out with Scrooge here.  Scrooge has asked the Ghost to put on his cap.  There is a bright light issuing from the Spirit's head, and Scrooge has a "special desire to see the Spirit in his cap..."  Of course, the light has something to do with the light of Christmas, and the Ghost chides Scrooge for his request to dampen the light.

I kind of understand where Scrooge is coming from.  Yesterday morning, I was in a great mood, looking forward to a busy, productive day.  This morning, I just wanted to crawl back into bed and pull the pillow over my head, and it had nothing to do with feeling tired.  The energy and happiness I experienced yesterday just aren't there for me today.  If the Ghost of Christmas Present showed up at my front desk right now, I'd probably ask him to put on the cap, too, or at least wear it low upon his brow.  (I'm generally a person who keeps windows closed and curtains drawn.  I'm not a vampire.  I just don't like being that open and free with myself all the time, literally and figuratively.  Believe it or not, I don't blog about every detail of my life.)

Don't tell me all I need is a positive attitude.  I've heard all the lectures.  I've even taught a Sunday School class using a book titled something like Attitude Is Your Paintbrush or Attitude Makes You Paint Better or Brush Up You Bad Attitude.  It was all about choosing to be happy and positive.  It was a stretch for me.

My former former coworker comes back to work today.  There's a potluck.  I made brownies.  It's going to be over forty degrees by this afternoon.  My wife has a new job.  Things are looking up.  Really up.  Although the first thing my former former coworker is going to do when she shows up is open the blinds to the office.  She's likes sunshine.  In fact, my Ghost of Christmas Past would probably look a lot like her.

Saint Marty needs to find a good cap for his Ghost of Christmas Past.

October 18: Getting It Done, Whistle While You Work

Well, things haven't gotten much better.  I have one of my best friends sitting behind me right now, making nasty comments about my physical age.  I am sort of prepared for teaching today, and I have a meeting at church tonight.  Let me tell you, when I get back from a vacation, the first few days really suck.  I thought I was going to ease back into life, but things haven't worked out that way.  The world is conspiring at the moment to piss me off, and I am letting it.

I need to take a step back right now and take a deep breath.  Bad news is bad only if I let it be bad.  Bad news can be good, depending on my view of it.  I've learned a few things this morning that are making me quite angry/uncomfortable.  I know that I'm allowing them to make me feel that way.  I've been sitting here, trying to find a bright spot in this cesspool of change.  Not working too well for me right now.  However, I have work to do, classes to teach, poems to review, and meetings to attend.  I need to do all these things with the least amount of bitching as possible.  All I'm doing is upsetting myself with this attitude.  Nobody else gives a horse's fart about my worries.  I just need to get 'er done.

Therefore, Saint Marty will suck it up and whistle while he works.  Or while he drowns on the H.M.S. Change.

Even these little shits whistle