February 14: Jane Gallagher, Doberman Pinscher, Valentines

"Jane Gallagher," I said.  I even got up from the washbowl when he said that.  I damn near dropped dead.  "You're damn right I know her.  She practically lived right next door to me, the summer before last.  She had this big damn Doberman pinscher.  That's how I met her.  Her dog used to keep coming over in our--"

Holden has a thing for Jane Gallagher.  All through the novel, he keeps thinking about her.  A couple of times, he even comes close to calling her.  He never does.  Jane remains this unattainable love for Holden.  Every time he thinks or speaks about her, there's a sense of melancholy and longing.  In the years since I first read The Catcher in the Rye, I've always imagined that Holden finally did call Jane.  I want a happy ending for him.  I want Holden and Jane to date, get married, and have normal, well-adjusted kids.  That's the romantic in me.  (Yes, I do have a romantic in me.  I just choose to keep it locked away from the sunlight.)  In reality, considering Holden's instability,  I would expect him to drift through life, flunking out of college, bouncing from job to job.  Jane is not in his future.

But, since it's Valentine's Day, let's focus on the former option.  Love.  Romance.  Happily ever after.  Not too many people get that.  In 2015, my wife and I will celebrate our twentieth anniversary.  That's crazy.  I'd love to say it's been roses and chocolate all the time.  It hasn't.  We've struggled a great deal.  Because of my wife's mental illness and its accompanying complications, I would say we are survivors of the love trenches.  I have the scars to prove it.

And yet, love won.  We have a home.  Two cars.  Two beautiful kids.  From the outside, we are living the American dream.  Sort of.  We still have problems, concerns that keep me awake at night.  Today is not the day to think about worries, however.  Today is a day to celebrate the love I have in my life.  I have hung on to that love, through the battles of the past two decades.  It has been my armor.  I think Holden holds on to his love for Jane for the same reason.  It gives him hope.

Saint Marty bows to the wisdom of Saint Paul this morning:  "...love bears all thing, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never fails."

It hasn't failed me yet

February 7: Lenten Challenge

OK, next week is Ash Wednesday.  I personally think it's a cruel twist of fate that the first day of Lent comes on February 13, one day before Valentine's Day.  That's like having National Vegetable Eating Day on Halloween.  Any how, I've had very little time to think about my Lenten Challenge for this year.

Last, year, if you remember, I vowed to write a chapter of my memoir every week and post it each Saturday (or was it Sunday?).  Regardless of the day, I was supposed to post the chapters, I only followed through once or twice on this vow last Lent.  I still experience twinges of post traumatic guilt to this day.

The year before that, I wrote a poem a day during Lent, and I ended up with a poetry manuscript.

And, of course, in 2010, for the 47 days of Lent, I prayed for people who had hurt me in some way.  That was not a fun challenge.  I remember becoming physically ill when I first started, dredging up all those old feelings of anger, betrayal, and pain.  It was a liberating experience, but by Easter Sunday, I was more than a little spiritually exhausted.

I'm not sure what to do this year.  I was thinking of doing a reboot of last Lent's challenge and trying to work on that memoir again.  Perhaps I'd have more success this year.

I'll throw it out to the disciples of this blog.  Do you have any ideas for a Lenten challenge for me?  I'm up for almost anything, short of selling all my worldly possessions and joining a monastery in Yugoslavia.  I'm not quite ready for that.  Yet.

Saint Marty needs some help people.

No matter what, I'm not giving up chocolate

February 14: Love, Valentine's Day, Christmas

"Why did you get married?" said Scrooge.

"Because I fell in love."

"Because you fell in love!" growled Scrooge, as if that were the only thing in the world more ridiculous than a merry Christmas.  "Good afternoon!"

I think the reason I chose this little exchange between Scrooge and his nephew, Fred, is pretty obvious.  On Valentine's Day, I think examining Scrooge's ideas about love seems an appropriate thing to do.

Obviously, Scrooge puts love in the same category as Christmas, and I wouldn't argue with that grouping.  Love and Christmas really do go hand-in-hand.  Scrooge eventually learns this lesson by the end of the novel.  Along the way, however, he sees love in several incarnations.  There's Fan, showering Scrooge's younger self with sisterly love.  There's Belle, Scrooge's former fiancee, releasing him from his vow of love.  There's Bob Cratchit, clinging to fatherly hope and love.  There's Fred, blessing his wife and friends with affection and love.  Indeed, in A Christmas Carol, love and Christmas are two sides of the same coin.  One cannot exist without the other.

Therefore, Valentine's Day is another occasion to extend Christmas love throughout the year.  That Scrooge thinks love is ridiculous isn't surprising.  I imagine the words "I love you" are about as foreign to his tongue as "Merry Christmas."  In fact, by the end of the book, Scrooge is wishing everybody"Merry Christmas," but I can't find a single instance in its pages where he utters "I love you."

But real love isn't about chocolates or roses or greeting cards, no matter what Hallmark says.  It isn't about saying "I love you."  Real love is deeper than that.  It's about sacrifice and devotion and humility.  Scrooge learns that.  He sends Bob Cratchit's family a turkey for dinner,  but he does so anonymously.  He takes care of Tiny Tim's health issues and saves the child's life.  He donates a large sum of money to the poor and, by inference, continues to do so for the rest of his days.  And he reaches out to his nephew, Fred, and Fred's wife, begging for their forgiveness and love.  Through his actions, Scrooge embraces the work of love in his life.

Hit me with your best shot!

We all need to embrace love like Scrooge.  We need to show our significant others, children, family and friends that love isn't just a noun, thrown around on special occasions like Christmas and weddings and anniversaries.  Love is a verb.  Active.  Powerful.  Transforming.  Love can cure the sick.  Love can heal the pain.  Love can feed the hungry.  Love can save the world. 

That's real love.  True love.  Christmas love.  Valentine's Day love.

Saint Marty wishes all his disciples a happy Valentine's Day.