Showing posts with label Serial Killer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Serial Killer. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

June 13: Vast Corpse, Serial Killer, Being Alive

If to Starbuck the apparition of the Squid was a thing of portents, to Queequeg it was quite a different object.

"When you see him 'quid," said the savage, honing his harpoon in the bow of his hoisted boat, "then you quick see him 'parm whale."

The next day was exceedingly still and sultry, and with nothing special to engage them, the Pequod's crew could hardly resist the spell of sleep induced by such a vacant sea. For this part of the Indian Ocean through which we then were voyaging is not what whalemen call a lively ground; that is, it affords fewer glimpses of porpoises, dolphins, flying-fish, and other vivacious denizens of more stirring waters, than those off the Rio de la Plata, or the in-shore ground off Peru.

It was my turn to stand at the foremast-head; and with my shoulders leaning against the slackened royal shrouds, to and fro I idly swayed in what seemed an enchanted air. No resolution could withstand it; in that dreamy mood losing all consciousness, at last my soul went out of my body; though my body still continued to sway as a pendulum will, long after the power which first moved it is withdrawn.

Ere forgetfulness altogether came over me, I had noticed that the seamen at the main and mizzen mast-heads were already drowsy. So that at last all three of us lifelessly swung from the spars, and for every swing that we made there was a nod from below from the slumbering helmsman. The waves, too, nodded their indolent crests; and across the wide trance of the sea, east nodded to west, and the sun over all.

Suddenly bubbles seemed bursting beneath my closed eyes; like vices my hands grasped the shrouds; some invisible, gracious agency preserved me; with a shock I came back to life. And lo! close under our lee, not forty fathoms off, a gigantic Sperm Whale lay rolling in the water like the capsized hull of a frigate, his broad, glossy back, of an Ethiopian hue, glistening in the sun's rays like a mirror. But lazily undulating in the trough of the sea, and ever and anon tranquilly spouting his vapory jet, the whale looked like a portly burgher smoking his pipe of a warm afternoon. But that pipe, poor whale, was thy last. As if struck by some enchanter's wand, the sleepy ship and every sleeper in it all at once started into wakefulness; and more than a score of voices from all parts of the vessel, simultaneously with the three notes from aloft, shouted forth the accustomed cry, as the great fish slowly and regularly spouted the sparkling brine into the air.

"Clear away the boats! Luff!" cried Ahab. And obeying his own order, he dashed the helm down before the helmsman could handle the spokes.

The sudden exclamations of the crew must have alarmed the whale; and ere the boats were down, majestically turning, he swam away to the leeward, but with such a steady tranquillity, and making so few ripples as he swam, that thinking after all he might not as yet be alarmed, Ahab gave orders that not an oar should be used, and no man must speak but in whispers. So seated like Ontario Indians on the gunwales of the boats, we swiftly but silently paddled along; the calm not admitting of the noiseless sails being set. Presently, as we thus glided in chase, the monster perpendicularly flitted his tail forty feet into the air, and then sank out of sight like a tower swallowed up.

"There go flukes!" was the cry, an announcement immediately followed by Stubb's producing his match and igniting his pipe, for now a respite was granted. After the full interval of his sounding had elapsed, the whale rose again, and being now in advance of the smoker's boat, and much nearer to it than to any of the others, Stubb counted upon the honor of the capture. It was obvious, now, that the whale had at length become aware of his pursuers. All silence of cautiousness was therefore no longer of use. Paddles were dropped, and oars came loudly into play. And still puffing at his pipe, Stubb cheered on his crew to the assault.

Yes, a mighty change had come over the fish. All alive to his jeopardy, he was going "head out"; that part obliquely projecting from the mad yeast which he brewed.*

*It will be seen in some other place of what a very light substance the entire interior of the sperm whale's enormous head consists. Though apparently the most massive, it is by far the most buoyant part about him. So that with ease he elevates it in the air, and invariably does so when going at his utmost speed. Besides, such is the breadth of the upper part of the front of his head, and such the tapering cut-water formation of the lower part, that by obliquely elevating his head, he thereby may be said to transform himself from a bluff-bowed sluggish galliot into a sharppointed New York pilot-boat.

"Start her, start her, my men! Don't hurry yourselves; take plenty of time- but start her; start her like thunder-claps, that's all," cried Stubb, spluttering out the smoke as he spoke. "Start her, now; give 'em the long and strong stroke, Tashtego. Start her, Tash, my boy- start her, all; but keep cool, keep cool- cucumbers is the word- easy, easy- only start her like grim death and grinning devils, and raise the buried dead perpendicular out of their graves, boys- that's all. Start her!"

"Woo-hoo! Wa-hee!" screamed the Gay-Header in reply, raising some old war-whoop to the skies; as every oarsman in the strained boat involuntarily bounced forward with the one tremendous leading stroke which the eager Indian gave.

But his wild screams were answered by others quite as wild. "Kee-hee! Kee-hee!" yelled Daggoo, straining forwards and backwards on his seat, like a pacing tiger in his cage.

"Ka-la! Koo-loo!" howled Queequeg, as if smacking his lips over a mouthful of Grenadier's steak. And thus with oars and yells the keels cut the sea. Meanwhile, Stubb, retaining his place in the van, still encouraged his men to the onset, all the while puffing the smoke from his mouth. Like desperadoes they tugged and they strained, till the welcome cry was heard- "Stand up, Tashtego!- give it to him!" The harpoon was hurled. "Stern all!" The oarsmen backed water; the same moment something went hot and hissing along every one of their wrists. It was the magical line. An instant before, Stubb had swiftly caught two additional turns with it round the loggerhead, whence, by reason of its increased rapid circlings, a hempen blue smoke now jetted up and mingled with the steady fumes from his pipe. As the line passed round and round the loggerhead; so also, just before reaching that point, it blisteringly passed through and through both of Stubb's hands, from which the hand-cloths, or squares of quilted canvas sometimes worn at these times, had accidentally dropped. It was like holding an enemy's sharp two-edged sword by the blade, and that enemy all the time striving to wrest it out of your clutch.

"Wet the line! wet the line!" cried Stubb to the tub oarsman (him seated by the tub) who, snatching off his hat, dashed sea-water into it.* More turns were taken, so that the line began holding its place. The boat now flew through the boiling water like a shark all fins. Stubb and Tashtego here changed places- stem for stern- a staggering business truly in that rocking commotion.

*Partly to show the indispensableness of this act, it may here be stated, that, in the old Dutch fishery, a mop was used to dash the running line with water; in many other ships, a wooden piggin, or bailer, is set apart for that purpose. Your hat, however, is the most convenient.

From the vibrating line extending the entire length of the upper part of the boat, and from its now being more tight than a harpstring, you would have thought the craft had two keels- one cleaving the water, the other the air- as the boat churned on through both opposing elements at once. A continual cascade played at the bows; a ceaseless whirling eddy in her wake; and, at the slightest motion from within, even but of a little finger, the vibrating, cracking craft canted over her spasmodic gunwale into the sea. Thus they rushed; each man with might and main clinging to his seat, to prevent being tossed to the foam; and the tall form of Tashtego at the steering oar crouching almost double, in order to bring down his centre of gravity. Whole Atlantics and Pacifics seemed passed as they shot on their way, till at length the whale somewhat slackened his flight.

"Haul in- haul in!" cried Stubb to the bowsman! and, facing round towards the whale, all hands began pulling the boat up to him, while yet the boat was being towed on. Soon ranging up by his flank, Stubb, firmly planting his knee in the clumsy cleat, darted dart after dart into the flying fish; at the word of command, the boat alternately sterning out of the way of the whale's horrible wallow, and then ranging up for another fling.

The red tide now poured from all sides of the monster like brooks down a hill. His tormented body rolled not in brine but in blood, which bubbled and seethed for furlongs behind in their wake. The slanting sun playing upon their crimson pond in the sea, sent back its reflection into every face, so that they all glowed to each other like red men. And all the while, jet after jet of white smoke was agonizingly shot from the spiracle of the whale, and vehement puff after puff from the mouth of the excited headsman; as at every dart, hauling in upon his crooked lance (by the line attached to it), Stubb straightened it again and again, by a few rapid blows against the gunwale, then again and again sent it into the whale.

"Pull up- pull up!" he now cried to the bowsman, as the waning whale relaxed in his wrath. "Pull up!- close to!" and the boat ranged along the fish's flank. When reaching far over the bow, Stubb slowly churned his long sharp lance into the fish, and kept it there, carefully churning and churning, as if cautiously seeking to feel after some gold watch that the whale might have swallowed, and which he was fearful of breaking ere he could hook it out. But that gold watch he sought was the innermost life of the fish. And now it is struck; for, starting from his trance into that unspeakable thing called his "flurry," the monster horribly wallowed in his blood, overwrapped himself in impenetrable, mad, boiling spray, so that the imperilled craft, instantly dropping astern, had much ado blindly to struggle out from that phrensied twilight into the clear air of the day.

And now abating in his flurry, the whale once more rolled out into view! surging from side to side; spasmodically dilating and contracting his spout-hole, with sharp, cracking, agonized respirations. At last, gush after gush of clotted red gore, as if it had been the purple lees of red wine, shot into the frightened air; and falling back again, ran dripping down his motionless flanks into the sea. His heart had burst!

"He's dead, Mr. Stubb," said Daggoo.

"Yes; both pipes smoked out!" and withdrawing his own from his mouth, Stubb scattered the dead ashes over the water; and, for a moment, stood thoughtfully eyeing the vast corpse he had made.

Yes, this is a fairly long chapter from the book, but it reads quickly.  I was going to break it into two pieces, but I couldn't find a natural place to stop the action.  Hence, you get the entire narrative of Stubb killing a sperm whale.  Its details aren't pleasant, especially if you are an animal lover.  Basically, you have an innocent creature (despite Melville's use of the word "monster" here, the whale does nothing threatening) being slaughtered.  Not fun.

However, it's probably a fairly accurate description of whale hunting in the 19th century.  I don't begrudge Melville this story.  He writes what he knows.  I, myself, have come under criticism in the past for some of the material that I include in my writing.  Last night, I had a fairly lengthy discussion with a friend about a poem I've just finished.  In the poem, I describe Bigfoot finding a squirrel and snapping its neck.  Out of about 75 to 80 lines, the squirrel killing takes up about three lines.  Yet, my friend really had a hard time with this particular moment.

I am not a serial killer.  I don't capture neighborhood cats and dogs to torture and mutilate them in my basement.  I don't even have a basement.  Sure, every once in a while, a squirrel or bird dies.  I think the largest thing that I've ever killed in a poem was a hog.  In my defense, the poem was about my grandfather, who was a farmer.  Slaughter is a regular part of life on a farm.  If you don't believe me, read Charlotte's Web.

My point is that, while it is possible that Herman Melville witnessed the killing of a sperm whale in his younger days, the paragraphs above are fiction, and, as such, they should be read with that in mind.  Whaling was a part of life in Melville's time.  To ask him not to describe this death is like asking William Shakespeare to keep Romeo and Juliet alive at the end of the play.  It just doesn't work that way.  To be real in any sense, a reader of Moby-Dick should be ready for a few whales to die.  Just sayin'.

I try not to shy away from difficult subject matter.  Thus, Bigfoot killing the squirrel.  Life isn't easy, so poetry is not always easy, either.  In fact, my favorite poems that I've written involve things like killing squirrels, dead wrens, wounds that don't heal, and last breaths.  That's a pretty gruesome list, I know.  But I believe there's beauty in everything, including heartbreak and loss.  It's just harder beauty.

That's the reason why certain books or movies or plays or television shows that deal with difficult subject matter resonate with so many people.  Terms of Endearment still makes me weep like a baby every time I see it.  One of my favorite films of all time is Ordinary People--not really a warm-fuzzy viewing experience.  Our Town, a play I've seen and performed in, is full of tragedy.  A book I love--Mr. Ives' Christmas--is about a guy that suffers from severe depression for 25-plus years after the murder of his son on Christmas Eve.  And his son was going to be a priest!

I don't think any of these texts are great because they are sad or difficult.  I think they are great because they remind me that I'm human, and being a part of the human race is messy and beautiful and ugly and glorious and terrible.

Saint Marty is thankful today for being alive, even if it sucks sometimes.


Friday, September 22, 2017

September 22: Parsley and Paprika, Serial Killer, Gulags

The adulation that Trout was receiving, mindless and illiterate as it was, affected Trout like marijuana.  He was happy and loud and impudent.

"I'm afraid I don't read as much as I ought to," said Maggie.

"We're all afraid of something," Trout replied.  "I'm afraid of cancer and rats and Doberman pinschers."

"I should know, but I don't, so I have to ask," said Maggie, "what's the most famous thing you ever wrote?"

"It was about a funeral for a great French chef."

"That sounds interesting."

"All the great chefs in the world are there.  It's a beautiful ceremony."  Trout was making this up as he went along.  "Just before the casket is closed, the mourners sprinkle parsley and paprika on the deceased."  So it goes.

Okay, this passage is funny.  A very unfamous writer telling a really good lie to an unsuspecting guest at Billy's dinner party.  It's the perfect situation for someone with creative aspirations.  Everybody thinks Trout is a famous writer.  Of course, none of the people present are readers, so Trout can tell as many whoppers about himself as he wants.  He could be a Nobel Prize-winning science fiction author if the mood hits him.

Being introduced as a writer at a party of non-readers is weird.  I've been in that position many times.  There's a certain amount of expectation that comes with the title.  I've been introduced as a writer and poet and, recently, Poet Laureate at public events.  If I'm introduced as a writer, the first question, usually, is something like, "Oh, what have you written?"  If I'm introduced as a poet, the first comment is usually something like, "Oh . . . I read Robert Frost once," followed by a halfhearted attempt to recite "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening."  And if I'm introduced as the current Poet Laureate of the Upper Peninsula, the first reaction is usually an appropriate "Ooooh" of feigned admiration, followed by a hasty retreat to someone with a safer occupation, like a serial killer or Central American dictator.

Poetry is not safe.  Too many people have been tortured with poetry by English teachers in school.  Forced to write explications of Poe's "The Raven" or Coleridge's "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner."  Graded on memorized recitations of Frost's "Mending Wall" or Robinson's "Richard Cory."  Only other poets feel comfortable around poets.  It's a small, insular tribe.

I find it much easier to introduce myself as a college professor.  (Not English professor--that profession is also suspect.)  Being a teacher is a somewhat respectable profession.  Enlightening young minds and all that.  Poets work alone, writing things that nobody understands or reads.  Poets are alcoholics.  Mentally ill.  Homosexual.  They don't hold steady jobs and are probably communists, plotting to overthrow the government.  Basically, poets are anything that is categorized as "other."  That's why so many poets found themselves in gulags in the Soviet era.

I like poets.  Obviously.  Like the way they see the world.  Like that eternal poetic quest for truth.  That's what I've spent my whole life doing.  I wouldn't know how to approach my life in any other way.  I make sense of my experiences through words.  Words help me bring order to chaos.  I like order.

Saint Marty is thankful tonight for the poets in his life.


Monday, May 1, 2017

May 1: Whaterever was Coming, Professor Hannibal Lecter, Grace

One of the best bodies belonged to the oldest American by far, a high school teacher from Indianapolis.  His name was Edgar Derby.  He hadn't been in Billy's boxcar.  He'd been in Roland Weary's car, had cradled Weary's head while he died.  So it goes.  Derby was forty-four years old.  He was so old he had a son who was a marine in the Pacific theater of war.

Derby had pulled political wires to get into the army at his age.  The subject he had taught in Indianapolis was Contemporary Problems in Western Civilization.  He also coached the tennis team, and took very good care of his body.

Derby's son would survive the war.  Derby wouldn't.  That good body of his would be filled with holes by a firing squad in Dresden in sixty-eight days.  So it goes.

The worst American body wasn't Billy's.  The worst body belonged to a car thief from Cicero, Illinois.  His name was Paul Lazzaro.  He was tiny, and not only were his bones and teeth rotten, but his skin was disgusting.  Lazzaro was polka-dotted all over with dime-sized scars.  He had had many plagues of boils.

Lazzaro, too, had been on Roland Weary's boxcar, and had given his word of honor to Weary that he would find some way to make Billy Pilgrim pay for Weary's death.  He was looking around now, wondering which naked human being was Billy.

The naked Americans took their places under many showerheads along a white-tiled wall.  There were no faucets they could control.  They could only wait for whatever was coming.  Their penises were shriveled and their balls were retracted.  Reproduction was not the main business of the evening.

Again, this scene could come from newsreel footage of the Holocaust.  All these naked prisoners of war lined up in a shower room, awaiting their fates.  They may be lucky and survive, or they may be unlucky and gassed.  Of course, Billy survives.  We already know this.  Billy survives the prison camp, the firebombing of Dresden, an airplane crash later in life.  He is not killed by his German captors.  Or Edgar Derby.  Or Paul Lazzaro.  Billy's luck holds out.

As I reread Slaughterhouse, I'm struck by how lucky Billy really is.  He is witness to a string of different tragedies, yet he is never mortally harmed.  That's pretty damn good luck, if you believe in that sort of thing.  Others would call it fate.  Christians might call it grace.

I am sitting in my office at the university right now.  It is Monday, and I have one final night class to teach for this semester.  I am not feeling lucky or fated or graced.  I'm exhausted from a weekend of grading.  Even worse, I left a red pen in my shirt pocket this morning.  The pen cap came off, and now I look like a serial killer or a butcher.  Both of my shirts are soaked with pools of red ink.  My hands are stained, too.  It doesn't look like I was grading essays.  It looks like I was slaughtering them.

My wife is supposed to bring me a change of shirt in a little while so that I don't frighten my students tonight.  Imagine it:  me walking into the room, Professor Hannibal Lecter.  I sit at my desk, smile, and say, "Hello, Clarice."  It would be pretty epic, but my students haven't done their class evaluations yet.  I want a job in the fall.

I'm not sure that I believe in luck.  Luck sort of hints at a random universe, where bad and good things happen for no apparent reason.  As a Christian, I fall in the grace camp.  God at work in my life.  That's comforting.  Sort of like Billy knowing that he's not going to die in that shower room, I know that God's looking out for me.  If something bad happens, I will be alright.  If something good happens, I will be alright.

Now, the red pen exploding in my pocket--that was just stupidity on my part.

Saint Marty is thankful tonight for clean shirts and pants.



Tuesday, December 13, 2016

December 13: A Handful, Serial Killer, "Bow Rye"

This is not my son.
My eight-year-old son is a handful.  All the time.  When he got off the school bus this afternoon, he was grim and determined.  He threw his backpack into my car, got in, and said, "I don't even care.  I like being risky."  According to my daughter, he was telling the other kids that he wanted to be a serial killer when he grows up.

Yes, that bothers me.  But, after he got home and calmed down, he was sweet and funny.  When I gave him a piece of pizza, he made the sign of the cross and said grace.
He's a mystery to me.  Both of my kids are.

My son was about two when I wrote this poem . . .

Bow Rye

by:  Martin Achatz



My son leaves off consonants when he speaks, too busy to articulate words the way the offspring of a poet should at the age of two.  My car, a raspberry jam-colored Ford, becomes, on my son's tongue, a dead dar.  The milk he sucks down in his crib is his bowel a meal.  At McDonald's, he eats fry anyoo.  Fries and ice cream.  The motorcycle across the street, a coonshawwa.  When my father cuts the grass, he pushes an own kowler.  If my son wants company, he orders my wife, Mumma she, until she sits beside him on the couch.

Today, after my son takes his afternoon nyeah, my brother, Un Pow, will take him for a bow rye.  As the pontoon slides into the water, my son, swaddled in a sherbet preserver, will point at the dark line of teas along the shore, at the schools of small fees darting through the shallows.  He'll hear the motors of other boats, mistake them for pains in the sky.  And when the wind hits him in the face, the spray of the waves dampens his hair as they cruise into deep water, my son will jump, wave, scream, laugh.  Speechless.  Unable to say what he feels.  Not knowing a word big enough.


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