March 7: "Simplicity," Blocked Sewer, Simple Things

Billy Collins keeps things simple . . .

Simplicity

by:  Billy Collins

Dalmatian

is hard

to pronounce,

so the children,

pointing, say

fire truck dog.

I like the simple things in life.  Sunrises.  Sunsets.  Good books.  Good poems.  The smell of my wife's hair when I crawl into bed and put my arm around her.  The sound of my son's laughter when he doesn't know I'm listening to him.  A text message from my daughter, even if she's asking for money.  Thanksgiving dinner.  Petting my dog's belly.  (By the way, she's an Australian Shepherd, not a Dalmatian.)  When life is simple, everything is better.

My life was not simple today.

My wife woke me up at 5:30 a.m. to tell me that something was seriously wrong with the drains in the bathroom.  She was right.  The sewer was blocked.  I tried a few tricks my dad, brother, and sister (all Master Plumbers) have shown me over the years.  None of the tricks worked.  So, we called a plumber, and I left for work, leaving my wife to deal with the shit (literally).  

Needless to say, I was pretty stressed all day long, imagining all kinds of horrible scenarios, including, but not limited to:  a collapsed sewer pipe, bulldozers tearing up my property, and thousands of dollars of debt.  I could barely concentrate on anything all morning long.

The plumber showed up at 9:30 this morning, and, about an hour-and-a-half later, he left with a $250 check, saying, "It's unblocked for now."

I have no idea what he meant with the "for now."  Does that mean that he expects it to be blocked again by tomorrow morning?  Or that he just doesn't know what caused the blockage?  Or that he wanted to cover his ass by adding "for now" as a "No Guarantees" clause for his services?

Well, I can go the bathroom in my house.  For now.  That's what I'm holding onto tonight.  We often take simple things like that for granted.  I'm not.  If you think about it, every time we flip a switch and a light comes on, we should say thanks.  Every time we turn a handle and cold, clean water pours out of a tap, we should say thanks.  And every time we flush a toilet and the shit and piss disappears, we should shout "Hallelujah!"

Saint Marty is now--simply-- going to say goodnight.