December 4: Darkest Points in My Life, Light in the World, "Rules of Fatherhood"

Yes, you are going to have to put up with me getting all sentimental about my daughter's birthday tomorrow.  She, literally and figuratively, has saved my life many times.  At one of the darkest points in my life, my five-year-old daughter was the one who reminded me that there was still light in the world.

It was about a week before Christmas, and I still hadn't put up a tree.  My wife and I were separated, and my fervor for the holiday was nonexistent.  I hadn't even watched It's a Wonderful Life or A Charlie Brown Christmas.  One night, my daughter looked me in the eyes and said, "Are we going to have Christmas this year?" 

I was speechless for a few moments, and then I hugged her.  Hard. 

That was all it took.  Within a day, the Christmas tree was up and decorated, and lights were flashing in my front porch.  You know, Scrooge had Jacob Marley to teach him about Christmas.  George Bailey had Clarence Odbody, Angel Second Class.  The Grinch had Little Cindy Lou Who.  I had a kindergartener in pigtails with an inner light. 

Tomorrow morning, Saint Marty's little Spirit of Christmas turns 19. 

God bless us, everyone!

Rules of Fatherhood

by:  Martin Achatz

When I first heard my daughter's heart
Ten years ago in the doctor's office,
I had no clue how to care for a girl,
Those unwritten rules new fathers
Must learn over time.  Make your girl
Sit frog-legged in the bathtub
To allow warm water to flow
Into areas of her body where skin
Turns raw, pink or red as grapefruit,
In the privacy of diaper or panty.
When she turns three or four,
Teach her to wipe front-to-back,
Not back-to-front, to avoid kidney,
Bladder infections.  Comb her hair
As soon as she's done bathing.
Slide the teeth through and through,
To remove all tangles, then braid.
Start simple, one ponytail at the back
Of her head.  Work to French braids,
Beautiful as sweet, curled loaves
In bakeries at Christmas.  Never
Utter the name of the boy she likes
When she's five or seven or ten.
Just watch them play together.
Notice how he always insists
She climb the steps of the slide
Before him, his neck craned upward,
Cheeks flushed, as she goes higher and higher.
Invite said boy to her tenth birthday
Party, watch him squirm when you sit
Beside him and say, "What are your
Plans for the future, son?"
Even though you don't believe
In guns, buy one to hold
In your lap when she goes
On her first date.  When he arrives,
Stare at him, the way a lion stares
At a wounded water buffalo.

All these rules I've learned
Since that day the doctor waved
Her wand over my wife, pulled
From the top hat of my wife's belly
That sound:  crickets singing
On a summer night, 
Love me, love me, love me.