November 9: Class Observation, Jennifer Reeser, "Souvenir"

Okay, on top of the trauma of last night's election results, I have another thing that is causing much anxiety.  In a little over an hour, I have to go teach my Intro to Film class.  That isn't causing me anxiety.  We're finishing up Brokeback Mountain and starting into our last film of the semester, It's a Wonderful Life.  That isn't what is causing me anxiety, either.

What is causing me anxiety is the fact that a colleague of mine is coming to observe my class for about the first hour.  It's my annual evaluation.  Now, I've taught this class many times before.  I've taught these films many times, as well.  It's not a big deal.  But, there is this impulse to really do something pedagogically impressive.  I want to "wow" this guy.  However, I will settle for not sounding like an idiot.

I didn't sleep well last night, because of the election results and my observation this evening.  As the time gets closer and closer, I'm getting more and more anxious.  The funny thing is that it will be over very quickly.  I will do the lesson that I've prepared, and then I will start the movie.  Period.  My colleague will leave with his notes and write up his evaluation.  It will either be good or bad.

The only thing I have control over this evening is my teaching.  I will do my best, and, hopefully, that will be enough.

Saint Marty may drink when he gets home tonight.

Souvenir

by:  Jennifer Reeser

So many mornings I awoke in tears
from one more dream of crying at her grave,
but she was always there, secure and strong,
perfumed with talc, or Oriental spice,
with perfect words and comfort cold as ice—
the only love I ever held too long.