January 22: Carol Dipping, Augusten Burroughs, New Cartoon

In his memoir Running With Scissors. Augusten Burroughs writes about Bible dipping.  Basically, the crazy family he lived with would ask the Bible a question, flip through the pages, and stop on a random passage.  That passage would be the answer to the question.  Basically, it's using the Bible like a Magic 8 Ball.

There's a long history of people using books like this.  In Italy around Dante's time, citizens used Virgil's Aeneid like a sacred text, as well.  Now, I sort of can understand Bible dipping.  (I've done it myself, just for fun.  Really.)  But
Aeneid dipping is just plain nuts.  At least the Bible has divinely inspired text.  It's not a slot machine.  You can't drop in a question, pull a lever, and have it spit out the correct answer.  However, my experience with Bible dipping allowed me to view my problem in a different light.  There's some benefit to that.

Therefore, I've decided to Carol dip.  Yes, I'm going to ask a question about my life, flip through my copy of A Christmas Carol, and put my finger on a page.  Whatever passage my finger lands on will provide my answer.

Here goes.

My question is:  Will I get a full-time teaching job at the university this year?

And my answer is...

"Why do you doubt your senses?"

"Because," said Scrooge, "a little thing affects them.  A slight disorder of the stomach makes them cheats.  You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato.  There's more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!"

Now, I just have to decipher the answer from that passage.

The passage concerns Jacob Marley's visit to Scrooge, and how Scrooge doubts the reality of Jacob's presence.  Scrooge is doubting himself.  He's using every excuse in the book to dismiss the truth of the ghost's appearance.  And, of course, Jacob Marley's ghost is standing before him, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with Scrooge's senses.

So, basically, the book is telling me to not doubt myself.  To trust that that full-time teaching job at the university is coming my way.  Believe in myself, and all will work out.

Saint Marty will take that answer.  God bless us , everyone!

Confessions of Saint Marty