Weary's father once gave Weary's mother a Spanish thumbscrew in working condition--for a kitchen paperweight. Another time he gave her a table lamp whose base was a model one foot high of the famous "Iron Maiden of Nuremberg." The real Iron Maiden was a medieval torture instrument, a sort of boiler which was shaped like a woman on the outside--and lined with spikes. The front of the woman was composed of two hinged doors. The idea was to put a criminal inside and then close the doors slowly. There were two special spikes where his eyes would be. There was a drain in the bottom to let out all the blood.
So it goes.
Medieval torture devices. Thumbscrews and leg irons. Iron Maidens. I am not going to take this opportunity to point out that, in less than a week, Donald Trump has turned into the Dictator in Chief. I am trying not to dwell on the dismal news reports. I will say that Roland Weary's father and the President of the United States seem to have a lot in common.
I am trying to remain positive, to maintain a small sense of hope. It's difficult with Kellyanne Conway talking on Meet the Press about "alternative facts," as if facts are something mutable or debatable. Although I have been enjoying the idea of alternative facts, picking and choosing truth.
Here are some of my alternative facts:
- I am often mistaken for George Clooney.
- I won the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry last year.
- Bob Dylan gave his Nobel Prize money to me.
- Hillary Clinton won the popular vote last November. (Oh, wait, that one is true.)
- Barack Obama was unanimously voted President of the United States for life.
- I have six-pack abs.
- Chocolate chip cookies have zero calories.
Saint Marty is grateful tonight that he is not an immigrant from Syria or Mexico.