Of the two ridiculous alternatives, I rather favor the second . . .
Okay, I am taking this quote from Annie Dillard completely out of context on this night of ridiculous alternatives. Yes, there are two people debating each other tonight on American television about important issues like terrorism, poverty, and world peace. Things that are really important for the future of not only the United States, but also the entire planet.
But I am here to talk about the most important upcoming world event: Saint Marty's Day. In nine days, people all over the globe will be singing Saint Marty's Day carols, watching movies like Charles Dickens' A Saint Marty's Carol, It's A Wonderful Saint Marty's Day, and, of course, A Charlie Brown Saint Marty's Day.
Yes, people, it's time to do your last-minute Saint Marty's Day shopping, cook Saint Marty's Day cookies, and trim your Saint Marty's Day trees. And don't forget the traditional Saint Marty's Day tapioca pudding (one of Saint Marty's favorites).
That's all I have for tonight. It was my son's eighth birthday. After eating about ten cupcakes and a huge Nestle Crunch bar, my son practically bounced into bed. He had a great day, and he's extremely excited about celebrating Saint Marty's Day next week, as well, as are children all over the world.
Time to light the candles on your Saint Marty's Day wreath!